Single Life Isn’t Boring: 5 Ways To Love Being Single

So… How did that date go? 

It seems like such an easy (and potentially fun) question to ask your girlfriend, but in reality, it could bring up a lot of pain and uncertainty. 

For a very long time, I felt like a failed date was because I wasn’t good enough. I was being rejected. I was a person that no one wanted. 

When someone told me on our first date that they couldn’t do a second date with me because I didn’t want kids, I thought no one wants to date a single mom - I’ll never find anyone. 

When someone told me they were focused on their budding business to date. I thought maybe I’m not interesting, funny, or smart enough. 

I smiled on the surface, but deep down truly came to the realization that “there’s obviously something wrong and undateable about me. 

So, I decided to stop caring. 

If I’m undateable then… so be it. 

I’d stop going on dates hoping for it to lead anywhere (because I was very sure it wouldn’t). 

I stopped being “the nice girl” and I started making demands… because if you’re not going to ask me out again anyway, I might as well get what I want out of these first two dates. 

Sounds crazy, maybe even a bit mean, right?

But the reality is, I started showing up to dates as myself. 

And here is where we’ll begin the journey of creating your best single life.

Related Content: 7 Guilt-Free Ways To Stand Up For Yourself With Confidence

Why focus on enjoying single life? 

I know… you could be spending your time dating instead, right? 

Here’s the deal, you cannot rush the timing for when you’ll meet someone that you want to spend your time with. Also, you can’t control the feelings of the people that you spend time with during that time. 

Is it really time to accept single life? 

No… but it is time to embrace it! 

You don’t have to accept anything you don’t want to. But if you continue to look at being single as a negative then you’ll never get to the part where you enjoy every minute of it. 

When you’re single, you can date and enjoy time with several people. Each brings to the table their unique personalities, conversations, and experiences. You have the chance to discover what you truly love (and don’t love) about the people you date. 

You don’t have any obligations to anyone and can choose what you do with your time. 

You get more alone time to think, process your feelings, read and enjoy the activities you love. There’s a lot less compromising when you’re single :) 

How To Manifest Your Best Single Life

Like many other things, enjoying your single life always starts with your mindset. 

Practice Self Care

Taking care of yourself is the first step in loving yourself more than anyone else in this world. 

It shows that you prioritize yourself enough to make time for you and focus on you. Every time you do that, you build trust with your heart and mind that you’re capable of taking care of your needs. 

There are so many options when it comes to self-care, make sure you choose the ones that you truly enjoy.

It doesn’t have to be expensive either. It could be as simple as going for a walk, taking a bubble bath or dusting off your journal.

Or it could mean going all out for a spa day, massage, and a new outfit.

Do what fits your budget and your personality.

Make Your Space Your Own

Sometimes, you can enjoy your life more by making some simple changes to your living space. Design your home in a way that inspires you and gives you energy. 

I place my vision board in my office on the wall so I’ll see it out in front of me every single day.

Maybe it’s a fresh coat of paint in a couple of rooms or carving out a little meditation corner for yourself.

Whatever you choose, make sure it’s something that is YOU. And something that you’ll look forward to coming home to.

Revive Your Personal Passions

In a seemingly never-ending journey of finding “the one,” you may have de-prioritized what matters to you. 

Here’s what that looks like: 

I love singing (cooking, exercising, yoga, reading, etc.), but I don’t have time to. 

Instead, you spend your time in ways that you don’t enjoy like watching too much TV, scrolling social media, or trying out dating apps.

To enjoy your life (even while single) you have to do the things you enjoy. Prioritize them.

Be Open To Love (when it comes along)

Love can come in many shapes and sizes and sometimes our expectations about the future keep us from seeing it.

Maybe your love doesn’t come with the right look, size, social status or wealth. Open yourself to the opportunity of loving the right person at the right time. 

Let Go of the outcome in dating

One of the primary ways I began enjoying any type of dating was realizing that I’m here, at this moment, and I cannot spend it all worrying about tomorrow. If I’m worrying about whether you call me tomorrow, then I temper my sassy personality. 

Say sure to the restaurants and food you love. (I ended up at Italian restaurants even though I dislike most of them.) 

I’d cringe through the awkward kiss because you leaned in and I wanted to appease. I’d nod when I didn’t agree because I want an outcome - I’m not thinking about this present moment. 

I’m worried about being alone tomorrow… again. 

When you go out on dates, let go of the expectation that it should go well. Let go of the expectation of a call tomorrow. Understand that you also have needs and desires. You’re worthy of an amazing person that lights you up. 

And you won’t be able to notice that you’ve found them if you keep your head down.

How To Start Enjoying Your Single Life Today: 

1. Journal all the activities that bring you joy and fill your soul. 

2. Set a date on the calendar to pursue one of those activities

3. Before your next date, say this out loud “no matter what happens tomorrow, I’m going to enjoy this present moment.”

The single life can be a fun and life-altering journey of self-discovery… if you let it be. Choose to appreciate this as a time of freedom, mental space, and lower complexity. Pursue your passions and allow love in when the time is right. 

xoxo

Want To Start Planning Your Vision Board Party? 

1. Download the FREE vision board party planning checklist.

2. Craft your inspiring vision board workshop talk with our FREE High Impact Storytelling Journal Prompts. 

3. Plan, promote & host your first (or next) professional & profitable vision board workshop with our signature course, Sold Out Vision Board Parties.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Cyrene is a fun and accomplished workshop facilitator, learning and development guru and Human Resources professional. Being at the helm of Thrive Lounge has been a long-time dream. Through vision board workshops she plans to accomplish two-way learning. Sharing her vast years of knowledge to motivate and encourage others; while simultaneously getting the reward of great energy, ideas and questions to ponder back from each group. A super win-win. Please join our Thrive Lounge community so you too can benefit!

How to Create Something Bigger Than Yourself

At the age of 24, I knew there was something terribly wrong with my life. 

I was dumped by a 37-year-old recently divorced man who I was foolish enough to date for two years (and he left me a wonderful gift of finding a woman in the bathroom while moving my things out of our home).

I realized that the only job I qualified for with my college degree was being a receptionist (a job I could’ve gotten with a high school diploma). 

That starry-eyed and entirely-too-optimistic 20-something-year-old left 24-year old me with a Mercedes Benz Truck, luxury apartment and a daughter to feed. (After graduating from college, I thought I would have a “real” job. Silly me.)

I wasn’t feeling frustrated... I was angry. (Yeah, you heard that right!) 

I wish someone told me life would be difficult sometimes. Taught me how to spend my money properly. How to stand on my own two feet - and never depend on a guy to support me. To run FAR away from men who were “separated.”

Where were the strong women who said: “here’s how you do it.”

I didn’t know what I was creating, but I knew it was bigger than me. I wasn’t the only person out there following damn-near married men down a rabbit hole, finishing college with high hopes and no job or trying to show my child that I, too, can find success. 

There were millions of women, like me, trying to figure this crap out. 

What if we could figure it out together? 

It wasn’t until years later that I realized, that my little story was making an impact on thousands all over the world.

So today, I want to talk about how you can begin your journey of creating something (or contributing to something) bigger than yourself.

What does it mean to live your purpose?

Living in your purpose is one of the easiest things you can do with your life - because it freakin’ feels easy. Your purpose is driven by your passions and when you follow that passion, you fill your life with joy and feel fulfilled. 

In fact, you feel an immense sense of freedom because you’re making an impact by doing what feels natural to you. 

What happens when life has no purpose?

Life without purpose can feel like you’re walking up a mountain, while rocks are being thrown at you. (How’s that for a visual?)

You constantly wonder… Is this it? 

You participate in activities thinking… Why am I here? 

In the back of your mind, you think… I was made for more!

How do I know I’m pursuing my life’s work?

You can spend an entire lifetime trying to figure out why you’re here and whether you’re doing what’s right for you. 

The only way you know is to follow the journey and see where it leads. If you can’t get enough, if more work feels more freeing, if you can’t wait to see what happens for your community, if you can’t believe this is your work - then you’re doing your life’s work. 

But you have to start to know for sure.

How To Create (or contribute to) Something Bigger Than Yourself

Open your heart to self-discovery

In order to find the big thing you’d like to contribute to, you must first be willing to try something that may not work out for you.

You’ll need to keep trying things until you find that ONE thing. That thing that keeps you up at night. That thing that nags at your intuition and says….you have to do this.

Create a purpose statement

Define the purpose that you’re after. Find a way to put it into one short statement.

Post it somewhere that you’ll see it Every. Single. Day.

Let it be your reminder when things aren’t going your way.

Follow your passion

Be unapologetically YOU. Follow your passion and purpose as if your life depended on it.

Don’t let anyone hold you back. Find your people. Surround yourself with people who are excited to see you progress in your journey.

Make a real commitment

Don’t look back.

Take small steps every day.

Find an accountability partner.

How You Can Start Right Now

Be open to following that passion right down a rabbit hole with no constraints.

We all have a purpose to fulfill throughout our life. Don’t let life pass you by aimlessly.

In the comments, tell me one thing you’re going to explore unrestrained. 

Want To Start Planning Your Vision Board Party? 

1. Download the FREE vision board party planning checklist.

2. Craft your inspiring vision board workshop talk with our FREE High Impact Storytelling Journal Prompts. 

3. Plan, promote & host your first (or next) professional & profitable vision board workshop with our signature course, Sold Out Vision Board Parties.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

I'm passionate about vision boards and hosting vision board parties. Thrive Lounge is the ultimate resource for hosting high impact vision board parties and creating vision boards that work.

7 Strategies to Stop Overthinking and Get Things Done

Have you ever had a moment where you spend too much time thinking through a problem, but never really got around to actually DOING anything? 

I have. 

To attend any reputable grad school in the US, you have to endure this grueling Olympic level task - taking the standardized entrance exam. 

For as long as I can remember, standardized exams were my kryptonite. I just couldn’t do them. 

I’d go to the library and get every book on them. Then I’d read every blog article on how to study for them. I’d create an outline for my study plan. 

Then I’d grab my beautifully designed happy planner and jot down which days I’d study. 

I’d outline which sections I’d do on what dates and what I’d study for three months out. After spending several weeks game-planning, I’d crack open the book… and fall asleep in the first 10 minutes of “studying”.

Maybe I needed a different book. This one just wasn’t resonating with me. 

And the process of planning and thinking…… began again. 

But no DOING. 

What is Overthinking? 

Thinking deeply about what you’re going to do next to an extreme point where you don’t take action. 

In my story, this is where I’m plotting the exercises I’m not actually doing and putting things on a calendar that will never happen. Here, I’m making the classic mistake of overanalyzing what needs to be done from start to finish, without ever making progress. 

What does overthinking look like? 

Have you ever seen someone tell you exactly how they’re going to do everything right to hit their goals? 

Writing a book looks like: 

“First, I’m going to write my outline.”
“Then I’m going to write a little bit each day.”
“Then I’m going to get a super hot cover artist.”
“But before I get started, I really have to figure out how I’m going to publish this book.”

Overthinking is when you have a goal that you’d like to accomplish, but instead of moving towards your goal you research every single step, familiarize yourself with the process, consume a lot of information, maybe even purchase courses on the subject… 

But you don’t take action.

What causes overthinking and overanalyzing? 

The same thing that causes most of our inability to accomplish our goals - fear. 

Maybe it’s the fear of disappointing family. Maybe you want something so bad, you’re not ready to experience failure. Maybe you’re afraid of the roadblocks ahead. 

All of these things keep you paralyzed in the planning phase. 

I historically sucked at standardized exams. I already knew that. That’s why I was afraid to make the commitment. We were incredibly poor and I knew that this was the one thing standing in my way. Why didn’t I want to take the exam. 

Because I knew that if I gave it my all, I still might fail. Then I would have no hope. I was afraid of losing my only option at changing our circumstances. 

That type of fear will keep you up at night thinking and overanalyzing every detail. 

How does overthinking affect your life? 

OK, it’s time for some tough love, my friend. 

If you’re overthinking, then you’re likely worrying about your future. You’re worried about what happens if you try and fail. You’re likely also worrying about what happens if you don’t try. Then you’re beating yourself up even more for not moving forward. 

Saying things like “I should be farther along than this!” 

… or “I feel stuck.”

… or “I know what to do, I just gotta do it!”

You feel anxious about the future, but stay stagnant because you’re not making any decisions that move you closer to your goals.

Yes, this is exactly how I felt. Then, I found a way to take action. 

So let’s jump in. 

How To Stop Overthinking to Achieve Your Dreams

Accept that you don’t know everything. 

And no amount of research will give you everything you need to know. You’ll still hit challenges and roadblocks despite the most diligent planning. 

Know that you’ll figure it out along the way. You don’t have to know everything before you start.

Find comfort in uncertainty.

Once you’ve been in a few uncomfortable situations and made it through, that feeling of uncertainty isn’t so bad.

It can even be motivation to start figuring things out.

Embrace the messy middle.

You don’t want to look back and realize that you spent the entire journey dreading every step. Embrace where ever you’re at and know that this stage won’t last forever.

Take things light-heartedly and don’t forget to have an occasional laugh at yourself while you’re figuring things out.

Become the person you want to be through action.

Change doesn’t happen without action. You don’t lose weight without changing your eating habits and working out. You don’t build a business thinking about it. You don’t save money without budgeting and opening investment accounts.

Start taking action as if you were already succeeding.

Let go of the outcome.

Things may not end up exactly how you planned. But they could end up better.

And if they end up worse, it will likely bring clarity as to what your next steps should be.

Know that you can always pivot.

If your path doesn’t turn out the way you want or you encounter some unexpected bumps, you can always change your direction.

Sometimes failing at something makes it even more clear which path you should take.

It’s never too late to start down a different path.

How To Stop Overthinking Right Now

If you want to take action right away, try these: 

1. Identify one thing that you are holding yourself back from doing.

2. Write down one action you can take today that will put you one step close to that goal. 

3. Take that step.

Taking the time to plan for your journey can be crucial to your success. However, many people will never reach success because they let a small decision stand in their way. Which tool is the best? Who’s the perfect person to reach out to? How do I make the right connections? 

In reality, the only way you will make progress - any progress….. is to start. 

Let’s take that action right now. In the comments, tell us one thing that you’ve been overanalyzing and commitment to taking one action to move forward!

Want To Start Planning Your Vision Board Party? 

1. Download the FREE vision board party planning checklist.

2. Craft your inspiring vision board workshop talk with our FREE High Impact Storytelling Journal Prompts. 

3. Plan, promote & host your first (or next) professional & profitable vision board workshop with our signature course, Sold Out Vision Board Parties.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Cyrene is a fun and accomplished workshop facilitator, learning and development guru and Human Resources professional. Being at the helm of Thrive Lounge has been a long-time dream. Through vision board workshops she plans to accomplish two-way learning. Sharing her vast years of knowledge to motivate and encourage others; while simultaneously getting the reward of great energy, ideas and questions to ponder back from each group. A super win-win. Please join our Thrive Lounge community so you too can benefit!