Declutter Your Desires to Accelerate Your Dreams

I was broke, flat broke, with no direction or purpose. There were so many things to achieve, I honestly didn’t want to choose.

So, I did it all…

… studying for the GRE, working as a waitress, babysitter, and receptionist, looking for another job to add to the list. I wanted to make money, figure out the next move, try to start a business!

I burned out, with no money left, three credit cards at the limit, and spread far too thin. 

“This ISN’T working.”

There was my inner voice, telling me to stop simultaneously digging my self into a hold and clawing my way out. #Ironic

I decided to take a step back, focus on one thing, and figure that one thing out.

I chose to figure out the money.

Committing to one thing and blocking out everything else meant I was no longer doing things that drained the money I didn’t have.

I got rid of stuff that created the appearance I wanted but couldn’t (yet) afford.

“Goodbye fancy car and apartment!”

As a result, without doing anything else, I immediately had more money.

Immediately, I no longer needed three jobs and could go down to one.

Working one job meant I could go back to school, take the GRE, and get into a top graduate school program.

Having the degree allowed me to triple my income.

Do you see how success can snowball quickly with just one decision?

Within 9 months, my money issue was taken care of for good.

By making a choice, I created a big impact in one direction instead of putting time and energy in different directions, working hard but getting nowhere.

The Big takeaway

Invest in what’s most important and going to make the biggest difference to you RIGHT NOW and put everything else on hold.

This is what is meant by ‘decluttering your desires’.

What is Decluttering Your Desires?

My attendees come in with so many desires, stuff going on, things to achieve, and trying to do it all.

They’re powerful women who have already achieved massive success, and are looking to accomplish even more. They want a degree, a new job, to start an impactful business, write a book or just to make the day-to-day work with more joy in their hearts.

The big thing these powerful ladies struggle with? Figuring out what to do first.

Desires can fill your heart, but can also overwhelm if you have too many.

With so many choices, how in the world do you choose the thing you want to do? 

Hint: You don’t.

It’s actually time to give those desires the ‘Marie Kondo’ treatment! Tidy house equals tidy mind, right? Same with desires.

How to Marie Kondo Your Desires

list your desires

Make a list of everything you’re trying to achieve: big things, small things, and all the things that come in between. Include short-term fixes to things way down the road, like writing a book, buying a house, getting a man!

Lay out everything in your heart and soul, even if you can’t pursue it at the moment. Get all those dreams onto paper to free up headspace for what matters RIGHT NOW.

Otherwise, your goals will always be at the back of your mind, taking up energy, and distracting from what’s really important.

ask hard questions

Once you have all your dreams on paper, you can start to ask the real questions.

• Will doing this one thing lead me closer to where I want to be?

• Will it bring joy and happiness?

• Do I even WANT to do this thing?

Make A Choice

Use these questions to choose one goal to pursue, and leave the rest behind.

Don’t think decluttering means taking away something you desire and can’t wait to do, or giving up on any dreams. 

It’s the opposite!

You’re aiming for the championship by benching certain things to win one game at a time.

Choose one goal to work on right now knowing that once it’s accomplished, those other desires will still be there. And you can come to them later with the time and energy to do them justice.

The Secret To Decluttering Your Desires

believe what you say

… and act as if you truly believe it.

We say “I want to start a successful business.”

And then start three businesses at the same time, apply for a master’s program to land a better job just in case, and secretly keep an eye out for a rich potential husband at the same time.

What if you really believed yourself?

Would you still spread yourself too thin trying to do all the things? No!

You would trust that you have it together, know what’s right, and be confident in choosing that first step towards achieving what lights up your soul.

Know that by making these tough choices, you’re moving toward your dreams.

That’s all I’m asking you to do today.

Declutter your desires so you can choose and do what matters most.

Drop a comment below: Which desire will you choose prioritize first?

Want To Start Planning Your Vision Board Party? 

1. Download the FREE vision board party planning checklist.

2. Craft your inspiring vision board workshop talk with our FREE High Impact Storytelling Journal Prompts. 

3. Plan, promote & host your first (or next) professional & profitable vision board workshop with our signature course, Sold Out Vision Board Parties.

 This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclosure for more info.

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About the author

Cyrene is a fun and accomplished workshop facilitator, learning and development guru and Human Resources professional. Being at the helm of Thrive Lounge has been a long-time dream. Through vision board workshops she plans to accomplish two-way learning. Sharing her vast years of knowledge to motivate and encourage others; while simultaneously getting the reward of great energy, ideas and questions to ponder back from each group. A super win-win. Please join our Thrive Lounge community so you too can benefit!

What To Do When It's 'Not The Right Time'

Do you ever believe it’s not the right time to pursue your big dreams? 

Maybe you’d love to be married one day. But after years of failed relationships, you’ve decided it’s not the right time to date. 

Maybe you’d like to write a book. But you can’t find the time around your full-time job. 

Maybe you’d like to have a child. But with your bills taking up a huge portion of your income, you can’t imagine ever being able to afford to raise one. 

I’ve certainly been there, my friend. 

Just a few years ago, I wanted to go back to school to earn a degree that would help me land a higher paying job. Well, it was never the right time. 

I had to continue earning money so I could afford my lifestyle. I had a luxury apartment, a car, and a child to feed. Going back to school would mean that I couldn’t work enough to keep up with my bills. 

It wasn’t the right time. 

But I also grew weary of my lifestyle. I had to work three jobs to pay for all my items. I wanted a different life entirely. So, even though it wasn’t the right time, I had to take the leap. 

There might be a book you’ve been thinking about for years, a degree you want to pursue, a shot you want to take…

But you’re still waiting for “the right time.”

In this post, I want to share how you, too, can make the big leaps in your life right now.

A few things to know about ‘not the right time’

What does “it’s not the right time” mean?

“It’s not the right time” is an excuse that people use when the change they want to make is big and scary. It is what people say when they don’t want to prioritize that big scary change. 😳

Here’s the thing. It doesn’t have to be a limiting thought.

Let it encourage you to drive into that thing you’re planning on, to be creative and move through the blocks and challenges that come up.

“It’s not the right time” is an opportunity for growth.

When you make that mindset shift, the thing that it’s “not the right time for” can be a lot less overwhelming and scary. 

Related Content: 7 Signs You Need A Mindset Reset

What happens to your dreams when “it’s not the right time?”

The more you cling to the idea of the ‘right time’ to make a change or to work on your goals, the more time you’ll spend stuck and not making any progress. 

The perfect time might feel good, it might look good in your head, but it just might be what’s holding you back.

That’s not supposed to happen, right? 

The “perfect timing” mindset

When it comes to making big changes in life, people often have a mindset that tells them it’s not the right time.

The thing is that’s just going to keep holding you back. There truly is no “right time” to make a big life change.

You simply must take the leap and see where life takes you. 

And you’ll probably be surprised where you end up.

How to Leap When It’s Not the Right Time

 

Understand it’s never the right time

One thing to know and to always keep in mind with this kind of change is that your brain will tell you it’s “not the right time,” no matter what your heart says.

But, when you’re getting the urge to make a big change and that leap could be incredible and powerful, that’s when you must tune out that voice in your head.      

Believe that you have everything you need to build your dreams

This is the time to listen to your heart and believe in yourself.

That belief, along with the urge to leap, is what will help you power through as you build your dreams.  

We all have a purpose. And the things that we’ve been through in this lifetime have perfectly prepared us to live our purpose fiercely and successfully.

You have everything you need to live your dream.

Surround yourself with the right community

Almost as important as belief in yourself, and not listening to the little voice in your head that’s going to dissuade you - is the community you have around you.

The right support can make ALL the difference in the world.

Supportive friends and family can help you stay strong when you’re nervous. They can help you get back on track if you lose your way, and cheer you on when you’re excited.

Make sure you surround yourself with people who lift you up, not hold you back.

Find the right mentors

A mentor is an important part of your community, and the journey you’re taking to change your life.

Mentors have gone through similar things to what you’re going through.

They’re building the lives of their dreams, and they can help you to map out your transformation. They’ll help you to spot the potential complication and work out solutions when roadblocks come up.

They can remind you that “the right time” doesn’t exist. And that falling down just means that it’s time to get back up.

Related Content: How To Win At Peer To Peer Mentoring

Commit to the journey

It will be a journey full of ups and downs, and that voice in your head that screams about the perfect time will be there too.

But, if you’re truly committed and ready to create your dream life, that little voice will lose a lot of its power.

A vision board is a fantastic tool to use to guide your journey and to help you move on from the “right time” thought track that can keep you stuck.

Related Content: Everything You Need To Know About Creating A Vision Board

Two steps to change this mindset

1. Write down all the reasons this is not the right time for your dreams. (Ex. I have a full-time job and don’t have enough time.) 

2. For each reason, write a counterpoint that uses your reason as an opportunity. (Example: I can take more risks in my journey because I have income that can support my learning, trial, and error.)

There will never be a right time to have a baby, start a new relationship, or build a business. Your dreams will disrupt your life, guaranteed. 

BUT, if you believe that the disruption will bring positive things, you’ll fare far better.

Believe that the disruption will be the great change that brings you joy, new challenges, and greater confidence. And that’s exactly what you’ll find happening in your life.  

Have you been waiting for the right time to act on one of your big dreams? Tell us one step you’ll take today in the comments below. 

Want To Start Planning Your Vision Board Party? 

1. Download the FREE vision board party planning checklist.

2. Craft your inspiring vision board workshop talk with our FREE High Impact Storytelling Journal Prompts. 

3. Plan, promote & host your first (or next) professional & profitable vision board workshop with our signature course, Sold Out Vision Board Parties.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Cyrene is a fun and accomplished workshop facilitator, learning and development guru and Human Resources professional. Being at the helm of Thrive Lounge has been a long-time dream. Through vision board workshops she plans to accomplish two-way learning. Sharing her vast years of knowledge to motivate and encourage others; while simultaneously getting the reward of great energy, ideas and questions to ponder back from each group. A super win-win. Please join our Thrive Lounge community so you too can benefit!

The Definitive Guide to Negotiating with Family (For People Who Can’t Say No)

Did you know that I work on this website every single Sunday?

It’s a part of my weekly routine to invest my time in creating this content that shares my story with the world. 

My whole family knows that I work on Sundays…. and that the time I spend is non-negotiable. 

A few weeks ago, my mother planned a dinner for my grandfather, who would be traveling back to Liberia (and we’d likely not see him again for a few years).

On a SUNDAY.

“Can you come to dinner?”  she asked

This is my mother. The woman who raised me.

The woman who helped me through my roughest times and who has given me money to pursue my dreams on numerous occasions. 

C’mon! How could I say no to this lady, right?

Well, I still spent my day working on my website as planned, and I did not attend the dinner. 😲

But my mother still felt great about how we spent our time. 

Many people have a hard time saying no to their loved ones and I’m no different. I have just found a way to say no that works for me. 

This week, I want to share my rules for negotiating with family, so that you can start doing things that feel good for you.

Why is it hard to say no to family?

That’s easy. We feel guilty saying no to people we love. 

Often, these are the people who have supported us through every step of our lives, helped us with every setback, and cheered us on for every goal. 

With the tips I share later, you can learn to say no in a way that doesn’t bring on the guilt.

Why do I feel so guilty when I say no?

You feel guilty because you want to be there for your family. You want to support them. You want them to be happy. 

It’s important to know that sometimes the things that make them happy, don’t always align with your goals, your values, and your sources of joy. That guilt you feel is completely normal.

When is it OK to say no to family?

You can say no whenever you want. But here are a few guidelines to follow:

• You’re not comfortable with the request.

• You have priorities that you’ve scheduled for that specific time. 

• The request is in direct opposition to your values or beliefs.

It’s important to say no to your family to protect your energy and your time. Sometimes you have to say no to family to say yes to yourself. 

How to Get Comfortable Saying No to Family

To get comfortable in saying no to your family members and their requests, it’s important to find clarity and set your own rules. You need to know ahead of time what you are willing to compromise on and what you are not.

Set some non-negotiables and do not break them for anyone

When you have rules, it’s easy to communicate why you’re saying no. If you keep the same rules over time, your family will see that you’re not rejecting them. Your rules become “what you do.”

When you respect your rules, your family will too.

My general rule is I work on my website on Sundays. That’s non-negotiable. I communicated that with my family the moment I made the decision. 

What rules can you set that will help you to achieve your goals? 

Respect your time as much as you do everyone else’s time

Every time you agree to do something for someone else, you’re taking time away from YOUR goals. Think about the way you’ll feel if you trade your progress for the request. 

If I don’t work on my goals, I will feel “behind.” I will feel like I’m not moving forward. I will feel like I’m not contributing to my future.  I will feel stressed about getting behind.

Ask more questions about the request

Understanding why people make these requests of you can help you to find a solution that enables you to honor their wishes and keep your commitments to yourself.

In the case of the Sunday dinner, I asked my mother why she needed me to be there. She told me my grandfather was old and likely would not be visiting again. She wanted him to have one last moment with all his grandchildren.  

Offer an alternative that feels good to you

I wanted to spend time with my family and see my grandfather off, but I didn’t want to negotiate with my work time. 

First, I asked my mother if she could move the dinner to Saturday, but she couldn’t. Sunday was the best day for most people and I was the only one with a conflict.

So, I offered to come a day earlier. I visited my mother’s house on Saturday night to spend time with her. I worked from her place Sunday morning, spending time with her and my grandfather in between my work on the blog. 

Although I left when dinner started, I was present for the time that felt good for me. I stuck with my commitments and was able to share quality time with my family. 

How to Take Action Today

1. Create your non-negotiable “rules.” 

2. Let your family know about the rules.

3. Practice saying no the next time you’re asked for something and use your non-negotiables as the reasoning.

Let’s be honest, we love our family and want to be there to support them. When you support your family in a way that feels right for you, that will bring you more joy. It will make those experiences more powerful and create stronger memories. How great would that feel?

What are the non-negotiables you’re going to live by? Let us know in the comments!

Want To Start Planning Your Vision Board Party? 

1. Download the FREE vision board party planning checklist.

2. Craft your inspiring vision board workshop talk with our FREE High Impact Storytelling Journal Prompts. 

3. Plan, promote & host your first (or next) professional & profitable vision board workshop with our signature course, Sold Out Vision Board Parties.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Cyrene is a fun and accomplished workshop facilitator, learning and development guru and Human Resources professional. Being at the helm of Thrive Lounge has been a long-time dream. Through vision board workshops she plans to accomplish two-way learning. Sharing her vast years of knowledge to motivate and encourage others; while simultaneously getting the reward of great energy, ideas and questions to ponder back from each group. A super win-win. Please join our Thrive Lounge community so you too can benefit!

How To Start Over At Any Age (And Enjoy It)

Do you know what it feels like to start your life over…..completely?

I do. 

I used to spend my days working as a receptionist. My nights and weekends were spent as a babysitter and waitress.

I knew that I wanted to take my life in a different direction. 

This new direction would earn enough money so that I wouldn’t have to work three jobs. I would be paid enough that I could enjoy my weekends, spend some time with my family, and have some time to myself. 

I would have time for hobbies. I could sing to my heart’s content. 

That sounds great, right? 

My life wasn’t that great. So why was it such a struggle to change? 

Well, I couldn’t stop making money because I had a daughter to feed, bills to pay, and an apartment to pay for every single month. 

But I knew that if I didn’t make a change, I’d be on that hamster wheel forever. 

I was tired of that damn hamster wheel. 

That’s why I decided that I’d do whatever it took to make the change. (Here’s where the story gets interesting.)

I got rid of everything I owned.

I moved out of my apartment, and in with my parents. 

I did a voluntary repossession on my car. 😲

I sold everything I owned. Anything that people were willing to buy.

I had my cell phone shut off. 

I reduced my bills to as close to zero as possible so I could focus on building my dreams for one year. 

By the end of that year, I had brought that vision to life. I had one job that earned $65K/year. I had weekends off, an amazing boss, and unlimited vacation. #goalcrushing

This week, I’m sharing the reality of starting over, and why it’s not as scary as you think.

A few things to know about starting over 

There’s no shame in starting over. In fact, it can be fun and enlightening. It may feel scary at first, or it may feel refreshing.

It may seem overwhelming or it may bring you a sense of clarity.

You’ll never know how great it can be until you…. do it.

Related Content: Why You Must Start Living Your Dream

Understand that you’re exactly where you should be right now in your journey

It’s natural to feel regret and anxiety, but they serve NO purpose.

Regret doesn’t put energy toward your goals. It keeps you dwelling on the past.

Anxiety just makes your journey harder and full of fear. It robs you of moving forward.

Instead of staying in that mindset, it’s much more productive to give yourself #GRACE. 

It’s important to understand that where you are on this journey, is happening for a reason; to provide you with new opportunities for growth - not make your life miserable. 

You should start over - and then start over again

Are you the same person at 40 as you were at 20?

I hope not!

When your desires and dreams change, it shows that you’re growing as a person, and THAT is a good thing.

Even if that growth leads you out of your comfort zone. That discomfort is a huge part of growth and success - and part of starting over. 

It’s also normal (and good) to start over multiple times throughout your life.

When you grow, you learn. You get better. You become a better version of yourself.

Every time you start over, you get to the next level of YOU.

You’re not really starting over

Even if life puts you in a situation that’s less than desirable and you dread starting over, it’s important to realize that you’re really not starting from ground zero.

As you move into a new phase of your life, you’re building on lessons you’ve learned, equipped with the skills you’ve acquired over time and the support of relationships you’ve already built.

The wisdom you’ve gained will serve you well.

This kind of change requires a mindset shift: you’re not starting over. You’re repurposing your skills and knowledge to use it in a way that fits who you are today.

You’re getting ready for new skills, new knowledge, new relationships, new capabilities, and new sources of joy.

All of these new life experiences are perfect for your situation.

How to Prepare to Start Over

Making the decision to start over is a great first step.

Next up is making a plan that gives you concrete steps to follow.

Make time to work on your goals

When you focus on your goals and start making new choices every day, you’ll see progress.

Plan to block out some time on your calendar each week to put energy and focus on your goals.

It may seem slow and hard to see at times, but you’ll see progress over the long term. 

Start small with simple steps

You won’t make massive changes overnight.

Choose the direction you think that you want and start walking on that path - one step at a time.

You will learn more about your goal as you go. You’ll discover different ways to get there and you’ll gain clarity on what you really enjoy as you begin to actively pursue your new dreams.

Decide right from the beginning to be flexible with your strategy, but NOT your end goal.

Set some non-negotiables

Decide that you’re committed to each step of the journey, no matter what it looks like.

Set rules and boundaries that will lead you to the life you’re determined to create. Whether it’s time commitment or saying no to certain activities or trying new things - decide what the ground rules are.

Each step will teach you something.

You’ll encounter difficulties and you’ll have setbacks. But, you shouldn’t throw in the towel. 

You’re a strong woman!

Setbacks and difficulties don’t have to stop you.

Create a support system and start your journey today!

1. Share your goal with a friend or family member. When you say your goal out loud, it becomes real.

2. Create a vision board to visualize your goals. 

3. Make a commitment to work on your goals. Put it on your calendar and do the work.

Know that you’re exactly where you are meant to be. We are here to learn from our experiences and then use it for a greater purpose and calling. Embrace the journey and enjoy it! 

We’d love to know what goal you’d pursue as part of starting over. Drop it in the comments below! 

Want To Start Planning Your Vision Board Party? 

1. Download the FREE vision board party planning checklist.

2. Craft your inspiring vision board workshop talk with our FREE High Impact Storytelling Journal Prompts. 

3. Plan, promote & host your first (or next) professional & profitable vision board workshop with our signature course, Sold Out Vision Board Parties.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Cyrene is a fun and accomplished workshop facilitator, learning and development guru and Human Resources professional. Being at the helm of Thrive Lounge has been a long-time dream. Through vision board workshops she plans to accomplish two-way learning. Sharing her vast years of knowledge to motivate and encourage others; while simultaneously getting the reward of great energy, ideas and questions to ponder back from each group. A super win-win. Please join our Thrive Lounge community so you too can benefit!