Declutter Your Desires to Accelerate Your Dreams

I was broke, flat broke, with no direction or purpose. There were so many things to achieve, I honestly didn’t want to choose.

So, I did it all…

… studying for the GRE, working as a waitress, babysitter, and receptionist, looking for another job to add to the list. I wanted to make money, figure out the next move, try to start a business!

I burned out, with no money left, three credit cards at the limit, and spread far too thin. 

“This ISN’T working.”

There was my inner voice, telling me to stop simultaneously digging my self into a hold and clawing my way out. #Ironic

I decided to take a step back, focus on one thing, and figure that one thing out.

I chose to figure out the money.

Committing to one thing and blocking out everything else meant I was no longer doing things that drained the money I didn’t have.

I got rid of stuff that created the appearance I wanted but couldn’t (yet) afford.

“Goodbye fancy car and apartment!”

As a result, without doing anything else, I immediately had more money.

Immediately, I no longer needed three jobs and could go down to one.

Working one job meant I could go back to school, take the GRE, and get into a top graduate school program.

Having the degree allowed me to triple my income.

Do you see how success can snowball quickly with just one decision?

Within 9 months, my money issue was taken care of for good.

By making a choice, I created a big impact in one direction instead of putting time and energy in different directions, working hard but getting nowhere.

The Big takeaway

Invest in what’s most important and going to make the biggest difference to you RIGHT NOW and put everything else on hold.

This is what is meant by ‘decluttering your desires’.

What is Decluttering Your Desires?

My attendees come in with so many desires, stuff going on, things to achieve, and trying to do it all.

They’re powerful women who have already achieved massive success, and are looking to accomplish even more. They want a degree, a new job, to start an impactful business, write a book or just to make the day-to-day work with more joy in their hearts.

The big thing these powerful ladies struggle with? Figuring out what to do first.

Desires can fill your heart, but can also overwhelm if you have too many.

With so many choices, how in the world do you choose the thing you want to do? 

Hint: You don’t.

It’s actually time to give those desires the ‘Marie Kondo’ treatment! Tidy house equals tidy mind, right? Same with desires.

How to Marie Kondo Your Desires

list your desires

Make a list of everything you’re trying to achieve: big things, small things, and all the things that come in between. Include short-term fixes to things way down the road, like writing a book, buying a house, getting a man!

Lay out everything in your heart and soul, even if you can’t pursue it at the moment. Get all those dreams onto paper to free up headspace for what matters RIGHT NOW.

Otherwise, your goals will always be at the back of your mind, taking up energy, and distracting from what’s really important.

ask hard questions

Once you have all your dreams on paper, you can start to ask the real questions.

• Will doing this one thing lead me closer to where I want to be?

• Will it bring joy and happiness?

• Do I even WANT to do this thing?

Make A Choice

Use these questions to choose one goal to pursue, and leave the rest behind.

Don’t think decluttering means taking away something you desire and can’t wait to do, or giving up on any dreams. 

It’s the opposite!

You’re aiming for the championship by benching certain things to win one game at a time.

Choose one goal to work on right now knowing that once it’s accomplished, those other desires will still be there. And you can come to them later with the time and energy to do them justice.

The Secret To Decluttering Your Desires

believe what you say

… and act as if you truly believe it.

We say “I want to start a successful business.”

And then start three businesses at the same time, apply for a master’s program to land a better job just in case, and secretly keep an eye out for a rich potential husband at the same time.

What if you really believed yourself?

Would you still spread yourself too thin trying to do all the things? No!

You would trust that you have it together, know what’s right, and be confident in choosing that first step towards achieving what lights up your soul.

Know that by making these tough choices, you’re moving toward your dreams.

That’s all I’m asking you to do today.

Declutter your desires so you can choose and do what matters most.

Drop a comment below: Which desire will you choose prioritize first?

Want To Start Planning Your Vision Board Party? 

1. Download the FREE vision board party planning checklist.

2. Craft your inspiring vision board workshop talk with our FREE High Impact Storytelling Journal Prompts. 

3. Plan, promote & host your first (or next) professional & profitable vision board workshop with our signature course, Sold Out Vision Board Parties.

 This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclosure for more info.

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About the author

Cyrene is a fun and accomplished workshop facilitator, learning and development guru and Human Resources professional. Being at the helm of Thrive Lounge has been a long-time dream. Through vision board workshops she plans to accomplish two-way learning. Sharing her vast years of knowledge to motivate and encourage others; while simultaneously getting the reward of great energy, ideas and questions to ponder back from each group. A super win-win. Please join our Thrive Lounge community so you too can benefit!

Why Making A Choice Doesn't Limit You, It Frees you

When my daughter was young, I never asked what she wanted for dinner. Instead, I would give her a choice of two parent-approved options.

 Without those options, she’d shrug her shoulders and say: “I don’t know.”

 But asked whether it was stir-fry or taco night? She’d immediately pick tacos.

 When you say these are your options, kids know what to pick, right?

 The same applies to adults.

 There are so many things we could be doing, and no gatekeepers stopping us from going after what we want. Write a book, start a website, offer services, become a coach, or a yoga instructor… literally anything!

 But with so many options, many of us feel overwhelmed rather than joyful excitement, and paralysis rather than motivation.

 This, my friend, is the tyranny of choice.

 With unlimited opportunities, why are we not DOING any of them?

 Research has shown time and time again that the more choices you have, the less you actually get done.

 Looking at every option, comparing everything, trying to figure out what’s most important, what’s good, what’s not…

 … and before you know it,  information overload!

 “I’m overwhelmed, got a headache, don’t want to decide! I’ll pick tomorrow.”

 And tomorrow goes by again, and again.

 How about, instead of worrying about the end goal, we focus on the joy of choosing. Doesn’t that sound like a much better plan?

 WHY CHOOSING ISN’T LIMITING, BUT FREEING

 Let’s try this exercise.

 What if I asked what you really wanted out of life?

 What if I then said pick that one thing and just do it?

 Sounds so simple, but the reality of putting it into practice can be difficult.

 One thing I teach is how to choose that one thing and do it with joy and the least amount of stress possible.

 You want to pick something, do it, get it done and feel great about what you’ve achieved.

 Imagine this: you also want to write a book, start a business, create a course, be a speaker, you’re multi-talented!

 Each goal needs research, an outline of steps to take, which must be followed up by intentional action, and all this takes valuable time.

 Let’s say you only have four hours a day to get things done. You could allocate an hour for each option, but that would mean some slow progress.

 And you’d be spreading limited resources – time, money, energy – in a lot of different directions.

 That’s what too much choice gives you. A lot to think about and do!

 It doesn’t give progress, that excitement to finish or quick wins. Instead, it demotivates and slows you down.

 So, what happens if you just picked one? Go for it, play the big game, lay it all out and finish.

 You’d then be able to move onto the next thing, knowing in your heart that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to.

 HOW TO MAKE CHOOSING JOYFUL RATHER THAN STRESSFUL

 There’s no reason to run around in circles or have a thousand things on your plate. You need to just pick one and tackle it head-on.

 “But how do I choose?”

 That’s the biggest question I get and what I’ve been teaching in my signature event Finish Line by Design—how to choose and move toward your dreams. But don’t worry, everything else isn’t forgotten, it’s just on the back burner for a later time.

 Now you’re making progress, two things can happen.

 You love the thing you’re doing so much that you don’t want to do anything else.

 Or you think, wait, I don’t like this at all! Let me put this down and go onto the next thing.

 And when you do it that way, there’s no more FOMO. Tried it, didn’t like it, and moving on with confidence because it’s not for me.

 MISSING OPPORTUNITY SEARCHING FOR OPPORTUNITY

 I read an article once about choosing the person you want to marry. With all these dating apps, everyone is swiping non-stop. And there are so many options, you keep on going because Mr. Perfect is just around the next swipe, right?

 Or did you swipe past him looking for something better only to regret it later?

 And now Mr. Perfect has gone off with someone who made a choice and picked him!

 The lesson? Don’t swipe by opportunities hoping for something better. Make a decision, pick one, and try it on for size before you swipe left.

  CHOOSING IS KEY TO ACHIEVING A BALANCED LIFE

 While I love talking about getting what you want out of life, my big thing is balance.

 I don’t believe in hustling or overworking, but in joyful and balanced achievement.

 That’s why I teach people how to accomplish big dreams by making choices, and to do so with ease, joy, flow, and balance. How to get to that finish line without stressing out!

 I want everyone in this world to have more time with family, for things that make them feel alive, on dating sites if that’s what you really want!

 And it’s ok to choose dating as important. You don’t have to choose career or side hustle; you can choose YOU.

 What’s important is to pick one option and give it your all.

 So go out there, choose, and make moves my friend!

 Drop a comment below: What’s your biggest worry when making a choice?

Want To Start Planning Your Vision Board Party? 

1. Download the FREE vision board party planning checklist.

2. Craft your inspiring vision board workshop talk with our FREE High Impact Storytelling Journal Prompts. 

3. Plan, promote & host your first (or next) professional & profitable vision board workshop with our signature course, Sold Out Vision Board Parties.

About the author

Cyrene is a fun and accomplished workshop facilitator, learning and development guru and Human Resources professional. Being at the helm of Thrive Lounge has been a long-time dream. Through vision board workshops she plans to accomplish two-way learning. Sharing her vast years of knowledge to motivate and encourage others; while simultaneously getting the reward of great energy, ideas and questions to ponder back from each group. A super win-win. Please join our Thrive Lounge community so you too can benefit!

How One Decision Can Get You the Life You Want

My goal was to go to Med School, become ‘Doctor Martin’. 

Oh, I dreamed BIG, picturing how proud my family would be when I achieved what was expected.

I made checklists and followed them to the letter. Because that’s what you do, right? 

Yet something didn’t fit. Part of me knew I wasn't moving towards my values and desires. But I ignored that inner voice that insisted: 

“Chantl, you’re going the wrong way!” 

I was my family’s ‘future doctor’. My mindset kicked into action. “I can’t quit, I’m not a quitter!”

THIS mindset is what’s stopping us from achieving our true purpose.
Quitting can be the best decision you ever make. 

Because it’s a CHOICE to stop doing something you don’t love, you’re not good at, and doesn’t make you happy.  You can choose to put yourself first and make space for things that light you up and make your soul sing with joy!

If you find yourself setting goals and still not being satisfied with the outcome. Not getting anywhere, making checklists, but not ticking any ‘dream’ boxes...

… then I want to let you in on a little secret. 

It’s not about the goals game, it’s about the ‘decision-making’ pre-game! 

You can set and hit ALL the goals, but it’s all for nothing unless goals come from conscious decisions aligning strengths, values, and life desires.

I've worked towards goals that didn’t align with my purpose. Climbed a ladder in a direction I felt I ‘should’ go, following well-meaning mentors, teachers, and family. And ended up somewhere I had no business being! 

The biggest problem that comes up in conversation? The struggle to make the smart and sometimes tough decisions to get that dream life.

So, 2022, I’m officially canceling goal setting!

Instead, I’m going to teach you why decisions are so much better than goals and how to make the decisions to get on the right path to that dream life.

Not the life your parents want for you.

Not the path society tells you to take or those around you are on.

The path YOU want. Let that tiny inner voice scream it out loud!

THIS GOAL-SETTING GURU IS CANCELING GOAL SETTING

Goal setting has been the foundation of everything I teach. I’ve helped countless people create vision boards to get the life they want, and through uncertainty achieving more than they thought possible.

But this life-changing work has made me realize something I’ve always known but is now impossible to ignore. 

People don’t need help with goals! You know how to set them, write to-do lists, break things down into small steps, set a timeline, and so on. 

The problem I get the most emails about, the BIG thing people struggle with, and what stops most achieving women from moving forward toward their dream is ‘deciding’. 

WHAT THE ACHIEVING WOMAN NEEDS HELP WITH

So many women come to me saying:

“Listen Chantl. I’m a Mom, a homeowner, a wife. Trying to go back to school, get that promotion, do all the things.

I’m overwhelmed, drained, and don’t know what to do!”

If this is you, all the goal-setting in the world won’t help. It won’t balance all the things you’ve got going on, and won’t help in figuring out the way forward.

Instead, it’s time to make some hard choices and decide what you really want to do–and let go of the rest.

WHY DECISION-MAKING IS SO DARN HARD

Let’s be honest, the achieving woman wants to do a bit of everything.

Do our jobs, take care of homes, aging parents, and children. Help glow up the next generation to do better, be wiser. Help family, friends, even strangers!

We give to everybody else and there’s nothing left for ourselves. Then we try to do 10 different things at once and end up achieving nothing.

This is the blueprint of how NOT to get what you want out of life.

WHY MAKING DECISIONS WILL GET YOU WHAT YOU WANT

Without decisions, you can end up on the wrong path. Arrive at success, turn around and think: “Wait, what in the world happened, I don’t want to be here!”

Or create something that doesn’t fulfill you and end up with yet another thing that drains.

Or give time and energy to a space you don’t love.

I don’t want this for you. I want to help you decide what you want to achieve and what’s best for you. To make that choice with confidence because it aligns with your values and what you want out of life. 

YOU drive your desires. Not family expectations, influencers, or what some guru on the internet says. And definitely not because you’re told it’s the right time.

You know what I mean...

25? It’s time to get your life together!

30? It’s time to buy a house, get married, have kids!

Who said it’s time? It’s not time until YOU say it’s time! (Can I get an AMEN!)

Imagine how much you could achieve by trusting your gut, inner voice, and timing, and choosing what's right for you?

That’s why decision making is so much better than goal setting. It’s time to make a choice, my friend, a move forward with confidence.

Drop a comment below: What decisions have you been putting off?

Want To Start Planning Your Vision Board Party? 

1. Download the FREE vision board party planning checklist.

2. Craft your inspiring vision board workshop talk with our FREE High Impact Storytelling Journal Prompts. 

3. Plan, promote & host your first (or next) professional & profitable vision board workshop with our signature course, Sold Out Vision Board Parties.

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About the author

Cyrene is a fun and accomplished workshop facilitator, learning and development guru and Human Resources professional. Being at the helm of Thrive Lounge has been a long-time dream. Through vision board workshops she plans to accomplish two-way learning. Sharing her vast years of knowledge to motivate and encourage others; while simultaneously getting the reward of great energy, ideas and questions to ponder back from each group. A super win-win. Please join our Thrive Lounge community so you too can benefit!

How to Stop Working Towards Someone Else's Dream

There was a time that I believed a man would save me from being poor. 

Sounds odd to say out loud, right? 

In my culture, it’s common to work hard, be smart… but also not-so-secretly be on the lookout for the prince charming who’s also a gym-obsessed doctor. 

He would have both a strong jawline and the means for you to shop nonstop, drive around in a range rover, and (of course) live in a giant house with 4 bedrooms even though your family would consist of you and your husband and maybe two kids. 

A husband-funded grandiose lifestyle was the dream... 

… and at no point in my life did I ever question it. 

As I got older and became a fan of pop/rap music, I would hear narratives of women having these coke-bottle body shapes and long hair…

… and as a result, these women should expect fancy bags and shoes from other money-making men rappers, basketball players.

The music today still reflects this by the way. 

So after college, I met a high-income earner who fit all my criteria - we began dating and moved in together. 

When it didn’t work out, I came to a realization the man-is-the-plan roadmap didn’t include: 

I had nothing to my name. 

I didn’t really have a job other than being pretty. I hadn’t gained many skills other than maybe learning how to cook and clean a home full of children. 

For years, I resented my family and my culture for embedding this idea that a man would save me. That I just had to be smart and beautiful and that was it. 

Why didn’t they teach me to be stronger? 

Why didn’t they teach me to be more independent? 

Why was a rich man ever the expectation for me - why was this “the dream”?

At that moment, I realized how risky (and disempowering) that dream was. 

If I spent all my time looking good to secure a husband that would take care of me forever, how would I ever build my own wealth? How would I ever find the joy of mastering a skill? How would I ever build my own power? How would I teach my daughter to own her own power? 

Well, I wouldn’t. 

And all of those things are important to me.

Those dreams (building my own wealth, finding something I could be uniquely good at, being powerful in my own right) were valuable to me.

A rich man, a giant house, and the ability to shop all the time for more grandiose items that I truly didn’t’ need was never my goal. 

It was a dream that made its way into my mind through social and cultural inputs, inception-style.

I wanted those things as a result of my surroundings, not my values. 

I didn’t have words to describe this phenomenon until a few weeks ago, but I learned from LaTondra Murry that it’s called a curated want.

What is a curated want? 

A curated want is a desire placed into your mind that is not your chosen path to pursue, but it’s a goal that society places upon you. This could look like: 

• You’re 18 and society tells you it’s time to go to college.

• You come from an immigrant family and your parents tell you that you have to choose either doctor, lawyer, or engineer. 

• You’re 25 and your family starts to wonder why you’re not married yet. 

• You’re 30 and it’s the right age to buy a home. 

• You’re married and your family is wondering when the baby is coming. 

These, my friend, are curated wants. They’re the things that we believe we want because someone else has decided that we should want this at this time in our lives. 

How do I know my dreams and goals are not my own? 

There is a tiny voice inside of you that knows the truth. This tiny voice nudges you to follow your creative impulses. This voice will tell you when something doesn’t feel right. 

Often, we learn to ignore this voice to move towards a future that someone else has already laid out. 

An example of this from my own life is where I spent several years studying to become a doctor just because I’m good at math though in my heart I’ve always known I want to be a singer. When I’m on a stage, my soul lights on fire and there’s nothing in this world like it. 

But I feared that “only a small percentage of people make it in that industry” and ignored my inner voice. 

You know when your path was not chosen by you. Admitting you haven’t been working towards your dream is the difficult part.

How To Follow Your Own Goals and Dreams 

Write Down Your Values

When you know what your values are you can begin filtering out goals that are not yours. Before you say yes to any goal, you can ask whether the goal is in line with your values.

Tune out the noise while goal setting.

Take a day away from social media and outside opinions when goal setting. No matter if you set goals yearly, quarterly, or monthly, you should take the time to take a step back from your devices to hear your inner voice and give yourself undistracted intention.

Imagine yourself accomplishing your goals. 

One way to know if the goal you’re currently pursuing is your own is to take a look at where that end goal will get you. Close your eyes and imagine yourself reaching the end of that goal. Where are you and are you happy with those outcomes? 

Sometimes you don’t even have to imagine it, there might be a good representation that you can look at as an example. If you’re working for a promotion in a large organization this could be easy because you can simply take a look at people at the level that you’re working towards. Do you like their lives? 

Maximize your time in communities that have the same values as you.

When I realized I value minimalism, I started to spend time with other minimalists. Because we all had the same values we could connect on issues of not bringing a ton of useless items into our lives and spending time with people we love - not working more to have more things. 

Spending time in communities with the same values will allow you to have people that “get it” around you. Your quirks will be understood and accepted in those communities and you may learn more ways to go deeper into your interests.

It’s quite common to take on the wants and desires of the community around you. Take a break to ask yourself whether your goals are your own and give yourself permission to course-correct when you need to.

Want To Start Planning Your Vision Board Party? 

1. Download the FREE vision board party planning checklist.

2. Craft your inspiring vision board workshop talk with our FREE High Impact Storytelling Journal Prompts. 

3. Plan, promote & host your first (or next) professional & profitable vision board workshop with our signature course, Sold Out Vision Board Parties.

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About the author

Cyrene is a fun and accomplished workshop facilitator, learning and development guru and Human Resources professional. Being at the helm of Thrive Lounge has been a long-time dream. Through vision board workshops she plans to accomplish two-way learning. Sharing her vast years of knowledge to motivate and encourage others; while simultaneously getting the reward of great energy, ideas and questions to ponder back from each group. A super win-win. Please join our Thrive Lounge community so you too can benefit!