Relationship Goals

How to Win at Peer to Peer Mentoring

 
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Peer to peer mentoring can be a very rewarding experience that often leads to lifelong friendships and bonds. Great mentors have the ability to build relationships with people, ask uncomfortable questions and share their insecurities. They help people reach their goals in many different areas of life. Not-so-great mentors struggle to create an emotional bond with their mentee and their relationships can fizzle out pretty quick.

These tips will make sure you're a great mentor.

REACH OUT TO THEM PERIODICALLY

My goal was to use my experiences to help others move forward in their life, reach their goals and then reach for even bigger goals. It’s very easy to get bogged down with all the little things in life like work, school, errands, personal care, health, family, friends, vacation, religious obligations, and the list goes on.

It may seem like you don’t have time to be a mentor.

As an adult, one of my greatest learnings was to take time out for other people. Show them that you care about them by picking up the phone giving them a call. Ask them how their day was and take an interest in what's going on in their lives. Do the same for your mentee. Reaching out to them shows them that you are genuinely interested in their life and their success.

It opens the door of communication and invites them in.

Invite them out for lunch or coffee or happy hour. This gives the two of you time to connect personally and get to know each other a bit outside of a business or an educational setting. Simply picking up the phone to give your mentee a call or shooting them an email out of the blue will put a smile on their face and keep you connected as time goes on.

MAKE NOTE OF THEIR SPECIAL DAYS

Don't take the time that you have with your mentee for granted. Instead, when your mentee tells you that they're going to MIT for the summer internship (like my awesome mentee did #goalgetter) make a note of the date. When the time comes around, send them tips relevant to their new journey.

If they are starting a new job, make a note of the date so you can send them "new job" tips or share a story from your first day at work. Send them a congratulations or a ‘you got this’ text.

Make it your job to know when their birthday is and how old they'll be. If you're 30 and your mentee is 25, you can share stories with them from your mid-twenties. You can share the lessons you wish you knew at 25. You can help them better prepare for the new challenges ahead of them, whether it's business or personal.

KNOW WHAT THEIR GOALS ARE

As a mentor, you are utterly useless if you can't help your mentee move up in their life. If you make a conscious effort to understand your mentee's goals, you are in a much better position to help them actually achieve them. Encourage them. Keep them accountable. Check in on their progress. (side bonus: you’ll be more motivated to crush your own goals while you help other crush theirs).

Related Content: How to Set the Right Goals in All Areas of Your Life

Help them network in order to reach their goals. If they are in a different field as you, you can help them expand their network and learn new skills by introducing them to your network. If you are in the same field, you will be able to help them potentially land internships and jobs through your own connections.

USE THE GIFT OF FORESIGHT (OR AT LEAST TRY TO)

If your mentee is in school, make a note of when the mid-term and final exams are at their school. This way you will be able to send them inspirational confidence-boosting emails right before they start taking their tests. If your mentee is in an internship or job, help them prepare for evaluations, mid-year reviews or negotiations. Try to account for every stumbling block your mentee could encounter on their journey and make it your job to help them through it, using your experiences as a guide.

In order to be successful at using foresight, you need to really….listen. Sometimes we have so much experience to share, we forget to be good listeners. You won’t be able to know what they really need if you don’t listen to what their saying.

SHARE YOUR FAILURES WITH THEM

Though many people don't want to admit it, we have all failed at something at some time in our lives. On the bright side, those failures usually teach us life’s greatest lessons and allow us to grow incredibly for the better. We are given the gift of our struggles because once we get through them, we now have a roadmap that we can provide to other people in order to help them rise out of their biggest problems in life.

The greatest gift you can give your mentee is to share these stories. The most painful stories of your life have likely taught you more than all of the times you triumphed with minimal effort. These are the lessons that hold great value for your mentee. These are the stories that will propel them forward when they reach hard times.

GET A GOOD MENTOR

A great way to learn to BE a good mentor, is to HAVE a good mentor to learn from. Seek out someone you admire and ask if they’d be willing to mentor you. Ask someone who is 1 or 2 jobs above you to teach you their ways.

Being a mentor is one of the most rewarding ways to spend your time. Share your knowledge with others. It doesn't help anyone if you keep all that wonderful experience to yourself. :-) Your story is meant to be shared.


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ABOUT CHANTL

Chantl founded Thrive Lounge to give women the kick in the pants that they need (lovingly, of course) to uncomplicate their goals, stop making excuses, get productive and start living the life they always wanted. Her book, Goal Doing: Practical Advice For Goal Setting, Action Planning and Achieving Your Dreams, gives women a step-by-step guide to create, plan and achieve their grandest goals.

How To Create A Vision Board To Love Your Damn Self

This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclosure for more info.

 
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Create A Vision Board That Works

Download the FREE Big Vision Reflection checklist to build a vision board that will help you create MIRACULOUS change in your life. Enter your email to subscribe to the newsletter and grab the freebie:

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After several years of terrible dates and a few kinda-dating-but-not-really situationships, I completely gave up on any hope of finding love.

I was 98% sure that the problem was me…

  • I was too sweet and nice girls aren’t taken seriously in relationships.

  • I was too driven and guys were obviously intimidated by me.

  • Guys just want to talk to me because I’m fun and positive, but they never really see a future with me. (Sad, right?)

I couldn’t help but to give up.

I truly believed that I’d just end up alone. I envisioned myself sitting on my couch with a glass of wine, watching Netflix, always longing for the next Girls Night Out where my married friends would swear my guy was out there and it was only a matter of time. (Yes, this is actually what I was thinking!)

I felt defeated by love… unworthy of love… unwanted.

Giving up was my way of convincing myself that being alone was my choice. In reality, I would’ve settled for anything at that point (and sometimes I did).

I needed to pull myself out of that slump and re-learn that I am a valuable human. I have a lot to contribute to anyone in my presence, whether it’s friends, family, acquaintances or love interests. I am enough.

Somewhere along the long, winding road of rejection I’d forgotten that.

That’s when I decided I’d create my vision board in a way that reflects self love.

What is A Self-Love Vision Board?

A vision board is a tool that helps people envision what they want out of their life. The goal is to manifest (or command that the universe deliver) the future that you want to achieve. You can create a vision board for love, money, relationships, career, education and any other area of your life that’s important to you.

Related Content: How to Create a Couples Vision Board

Related Content: How to Manifest Real Love with a Boyfriend Vision Board

A self love vision board specifically focuses on your ability to love yourself. This will include:

  • Tools you use for self care

  • Activities and people that bring you joy

  • Steps you take to release self-doubt, self-sabotage and limiting beliefs

  • Affirming quotes and images that represent your definition of loving yourself

Why Does A Self-Love Vision Board Work?

Your self love vision board is your tool to remind yourself that you’re worthy of love from yourself and that self-love is available to you 24/7, 365 days a year.

When I gave up on finding someone to love, I wasn’t giving up on love all together. Instead, I wanted to feel love; I didn’t want the feeling of anxiety around love.

I didn’t want to wonder if someone out there would discover me, be enamored by me and deem me worthy of love. I found myself lingering in limbo waiting for love to come to me.

The self love vision board gave me all the tools I needed to re-discover all of the things that make me happy as an individual. Through happiness, I re-discovered my ability to love myself.

How To Create Your Self-Love Vision Board

Creating your self love vision board requires you to ask yourself the tough questions and be honest with yourself about what you need to be happy with yourself.

What things make me happy that don’t cost any money?

What is that thing you can do without spending a dime and it immediately lifts your spirits and energizes you?

For example, I enjoy bubble baths by candle light and listening to jazz music, reading with tea in the mornings or spending time with my daughter playing video games.

In the last 7 days, what activities brought me joy?

When most people think about joy, their mind jumps to some extravagant moment: family trips, extended vacations, world travel. But the reality of your life is made up of the every day moments: going to the grocery store and heading to work.

Self love is about finding joy and love in your life in the every day. This question allows you to pinpoint the moments of your every day life where you find happiness and joy.

When can I schedule in more of these activities?

Happiness increases when the things that bring you joy and the way you spend your time are aligned. Can you schedule in more time for the things that make you happy on a daily, weekly or monthly basis?

What do I love about myself?

Self love can also come in the form of appreciation for your individual qualities. What makes you special or different? What is that thing only you do that makes you smile?

What are my 5 biggest accomplishments in the last year?

When you’re feeling insecure or that pain of not-enough-ness, it helps to remind yourself of the things that prove you’re an amazing human on this earth.

For example, when I fail at my day job, I feel insecure about my skills. However, I have a list of amazing things that I’ve done that reminds me that I’m not a terrible person who sucks at her job (I really do think that sometimes). I’m simply a human who made a mistake.

What is an affirmation I can use to strengthen my mindset when I feel fear?

Think about the reason you need self love in this moment of your life. Is there something you fear that’s giving you anxiety? If so, take account of all the negative feelings you have around love.

In my example, I was afraid that I wasn’t worthy of love and I’d end up alone.

To counteract that, I asked myself: “What would my life look like if I did end up alone?”

I would still kick ass at work. I would still build a supportive and powerful community around me. I would still enjoy my time with family and friends. 95% of my life would be exactly the same with or without a partner.

I started to use the affirmation “My life is meaningful with or without a partner. My happiness is not contingent upon finding love.”

This one affirmation helped me to release those fears and allowed me to fall in love with myself again.

Once you have the answers to these questions, it’s time to create your vision board.

  1. Gather all the materials you need to create a vision board: poster board, magazines, scissors, glue

  2. Page through the magazines to find the images and quotes that match your self-love goals

  3. Glue your selections onto your poster board

  4. When you finish you vision board, place it in a common area you’ll see it every day.

It’s time to take action. Make sure that you’re not just dreaming about caring for and loving yourself - you have to make the space to do it!

xoxo

Ready to Start Living Your Dream Life Now?

  1. Get clarity on your next big goal with the FREE Big Vision Reflection Checklist

  2. Design your dream life with the Vision Board Planner, our step by step guide to creating vision boards that work.

Create A Vision Board That Works

Download the FREE Big Vision Reflection checklist to build a vision board that will help you create MIRACULOUS change in your life. Enter your email to subscribe to the newsletter and grab the freebie:

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headshot1.jpg

About Chantl

Chantl founded Thrive Lounge to give women the kick in the pants they need (lovingly, of course) to uncomplicate their goals, stop making excuses, get productive and start living the life they always wanted. Her workbook, The Vision Board Planner, gives women a step-by-step guide to create a super effective and life-changing vision board. 

How To Manifest Real Love with A Boyfriend Vision Board

 
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I'll be honest with you - I struggled terribly when I was trying to adjust to being single AND pushing 30. (You know, that magical age when your parents act as if your ovaries are about to explode?)

It Hit. Me. Hard. As a child, I always thought I'd be whisked away by my prince charming right after college and before I started med school. (Yep, in that exact order, I had it all planned out.)

But after years of bouncing helplessly from one failed relationship to the next, I started to get super discouraged.

Related Content: 8 Mindset Shifts to Create Abundance When All Hope is Lost

I wondered what was wrong with me.

I thought that maybe I wasn't meant to find anyone - and I'd be alone forever (with my 17 cats, obviously).

Luckily, the go-getter nature in me wouldn't allow myself to get discouraged by my super single (and super lonely) situation.

To retain my hope in love (and in my ability to find it) I created a boyfriend vision board. (Yes, you read that right.)

What IS a Boyfriend Vision Board?

Generally, a vision board is a visual representation of the things you want to have happen in your life. Many people use vision boards annually in order to set their focus and intentions for all areas of their life including career, education, family, finances, spirituality and (of course) relationships.

Your boyfriend vision board visually displays all of the qualities that you are looking for in a person that you want to spend your life with.

Related Content: Everything You Need to Know about Creating a Vision Board

Related Content: Why Vision Boards Work and Why You Should Create One

Why Create A Boyfriend Vision Board?

A boyfriend vision board will help you nail down exactly what you’re looking for in a relationship. It helps you set your intentions for your life when you are looking for a partner.

A few years ago, I realized I was one of those women. I kept letting an obvious loser back into my life - after several lies, women face-timing him and calling him at all hours of the night. Why did I keep letting him in? Well, that shows you just how bored, lonely and discouraged I was.

I knew I was in a situation solely due to familiarity. (He kept coming back.)

I knew it was time for a change.

I knew I wanted and deserved something better.

I wanted real joy.

I wanted intimate conversation.

I wanted soul fulfilling connection.

I wanted freedom to be my authentic self.

That is when I created my boyfriend vision board.

How Does A Boyfriend Vision Board Work?

A boyfriend vision board works because you have to dig deep inside yourself and be ready to answer this million dollar question "What am I actually looking for in a life partner?"

When you ask that question, you are forced to think through all the different qualities in a human that really matter to you. After you do that exercise, you’re able to be intentional about the people you spend time with and the people you start to date.

You’re also able to better (and more quickly) determine when a person’s values and behaviors do not align with the things that you value most in a life partner. This allows you to be more discerning with your time, energy and (most importantly) your heart.

How To Create Your Boyfriend Vision Board

I’ve written several times about vision boards and how to create one, and the strategy to build a vision board is similar when creating one for your new, amazing beau. The real difference is in the work you do before you create your vision board.

Related Content: Creating a Vision Board, Make Sure You Have These 3 Goals First

Before you grab the magazines and poster board, you must start with a clear vision of what you want out of your future mate.

  1. Write down all the qualities that you would want in a person.

  2. What personal values should they have?

  3. Where do you see you and this person going in 5, 10 and 20 years.

There were three key things on my vision board:

A man smiling and playing with a child: I have a tween daughter so it’s important to me that the person who comes into my life will have a great relationship with her.

The word “Honesty”: After spending entirely too much time with someone who constantly lied to me, I knew that feeling of wondering whether my partner was telling the truth. I knew that feeling of being lied to. I knew that feeling of mistrust. I needed an honest person in my life because I never wanted to feel those feelings again.

Two old people lying in the bed and smiling: The people on my board were easily in their 70’s. This image signified to me what I wanted for my future. Someone that would be around for the long haul and smile at me in the morning - even after 40 years.

Now that I had that image of what I wanted, I knew it when I saw it.

Ready to Start Living Your Dream Life Now?

Get clarity on your next big goal with the FREE Big Vision Reflection Checklist.

Design your dream life with the Vision Board Planner, our step by step guide to creating vision boards that work.


This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclosure for more info.


chantl.jpg

ABOUT CHANTL

Chantl founded Thrive Lounge to give women the kick in the pants they need (lovingly, of course) to uncomplicate their goals, stop making excuses, get productive and start living the life they always wanted. Her workbook, The Vision Board Planner, gives women a step-by-step guide to create a super effective and life-changing vision board.