I'm kinda tired of hearing the advice to "give yourself permission to dream."
Aren't you?
In life, there's no permission slip that you need to sign to work toward your goals. There's no grown-up telling you that you can't pursue your wildest dreams.
If you don't need permission, then the real question becomes this:
Why aren't you pursuing your big dreams?
"Give yourself permission to dream" is a phrase that has no meaning in itself. You give this phrase meaning because you create the roadblocks in your life.
The phrase "give yourself permission" allows you (and everyone else) to substitute their challenges to give this phrase substance.
In this blog post, I'll break down what it means to give yourself permission and, hopefully, you'll be convinced that you really do have the power to pursue the goal, make the change, and find the joy in your life right now.
What does it mean to give yourself permission?
There is a voice in the back of your head that says:
"I'm not good enough."
"They won't like my ideas."
"I don't have time for this."
"It'll take forever."
This tiny voice in the back of your mind wants to keep you safe. This voice wants you to do what you already know how to do: stay in the same job you hate, build a future with the person you don't love, live in the area you grew up in.
That voice wants comfort, not the challenges guaranteed to come with the unknown.
Giving yourself permission means you'll actively quiet that over-protective voice inside yourself to dive into the beautifully challenging unknown and seek a new version of yourself no matter the consequences.
Why do we need permission to dream?
Deep down, we all want something grand, but we often allow social norms to complicate our desires.
When you give yourself permission to dream, you open the door to living more authentically. You stop settling for comfortable and good enough.
Without permission to dream, fear of change can hold you back from ever achieving your big dreams. Who wants that?
Here's what happens to your dreams when you don't give yourself this permission:
When you don't give yourself permission to dream, you come up with excuses. Withholding that permission sounds like:
"I don't have enough money."
"I don't have support."
"I'll start tomorrow."
These excuses hold you back from realizing the dreams you held in your heart for years. You may look back on your life with regret or spend the rest of your life, wondering "what if."
5 Tricks to Give Yourself Permission
If you've decided it's time to take your life out of cruise control and make some bold shifts, then you'll need a few tips to move forward when that little voice inside you tries to hold you back.
Take a small step toward your goal.
What would your life look like if you achieved a specific goal? A vision board could be useful in helping you accept that it's okay to give yourself permission to dream.
Create a habit.
Habits are the activities you do daily that make up your life. You might brush your teeth, make your coffee in the morning, those are all habits. You don't have to think about those things daily, you do them on autopilot.
Create habits that move you close to your goal. For example, if you want to be a speaker, then create a daily practice of pitching one place to speak every day. This may not seem like a lot, but over time you'll get better at landing speaking engagements, and with more talks under your belt, you'll become an expert speaker over time.
Daily habits create the momentum for your dreams to come to life.
Ask for help.
You may be an independent woman who enjoys doing things yourself. Trust me, I know how hard it can be to ask for help because it feels unnatural. We're used to helping everyone else, not needing help.
When you ask for help, you bring other people into your dreams. You gain mentors, cheerleaders, accountability partners, and supporters in your journey.
Join a community of people who are working toward the same goal.
There is something very lonely about pursuing a long term goal. You put all of your time, money, and energy towards it.
I spent three years paying off my student loan debt (and I was able to pay $42k in precisely 2.7 years). I didn't go out as much, and maybe I felt like I was continually defending my choices because no one around me understood why I wasn't buying new clothes, driving an old car, or sharing a small room with my daughter with a nearly six-figure salary.
I met a woman, rapidly paying down $38K in student loan debt. We would call each other with things we did to get extra money, cheer each other on with every massive payment. I no longer felt alone on my journey.
Having a community that "gets it" is essential to powering through and not feeling so alone.
Say NO to others to say YES to yourself.
One excuse we often have for not chasing our dreams is that "others are depending on us."
My children need me, so I can't pursue my dream right now. I'll wait until their older.
I, too, told myself this. I've wanted to be a singer for as long as I can remember. My earliest memories were singing to Destiny's Child and creating dance routines with my cousins. I wanted nothing more than to be on stage. Well, for years, I told myself I can't sing right now because I can't be away from my daughter for auditions, rehearsals, and performances.
Last year, I decided to try it and see if my daughter would REALLY suffer without me... and she was fine! She understood I was pursuing my dreams, sang songs with me in the kitchen as I rehearsed at home, became a bit more independent in my absence, and attended all of my shows with different family members.
Saying yes to my dream had no negative impact at all. I denied myself years of singing on stage for no reason at all.
Maybe it's time to say yes to yourself, too?
It might be time to tell that little voice inside of you that it's time to make a significant change. If you have a dream inside of you that you've got to bring to life, then I want to encourage you today to go for it. Find out for yourself what happens when you give yourself permission to dream. :)
What's one dream you'd give yourself permission to pursue?
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Cyrene is a fun and accomplished workshop facilitator, learning and development guru and Human Resources professional. Being at the helm of Thrive Lounge has been a long-time dream. Through vision board workshops she plans to accomplish two-way learning. Sharing her vast years of knowledge to motivate and encourage others; while simultaneously getting the reward of great energy, ideas and questions to ponder back from each group. A super win-win. Please join our Thrive Lounge community so you too can benefit!
