I'll be honest with you - I struggled terribly when I was trying to adjust to being single AND pushing 30. (You know, that magical age when your parents act as if your ovaries are about to explode?)
It Hit. Me. Hard. As a child, I always thought I'd be whisked away by my prince charming right after college and before I started med school. (Yep, in that exact order, I had it all planned out.)
But after years of bouncing helplessly from one failed relationship to the next, I started to get super discouraged.
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I wondered what was wrong with me.
I thought that maybe I wasn't meant to find anyone - and I'd be alone forever (with my 17 cats, obviously).
Luckily, the go-getter nature in me wouldn't allow myself to get discouraged by my super single (and super lonely) situation.
To retain my hope in love (and in my ability to find it) I created a boyfriend vision board. (Yes, you read that right.)
What IS a Boyfriend Vision Board?
Generally, a vision board is a visual representation of the things you want to have happen in your life. Many people use vision boards annually in order to set their focus and intentions for all areas of their life including career, education, family, finances, spirituality and (of course) relationships.
Your boyfriend vision board visually displays all of the qualities that you are looking for in a person that you want to spend your life with.
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Why Create A Boyfriend Vision Board?
A boyfriend vision board will help you nail down exactly what you’re looking for in a relationship. It helps you set your intentions for your life when you are looking for a partner.
A few years ago, I realized I was one of those women. I kept letting an obvious loser back into my life - after several lies, women face-timing him and calling him at all hours of the night. Why did I keep letting him in? Well, that shows you just how bored, lonely and discouraged I was.
I knew I was in a situation solely due to familiarity. (He kept coming back.)
I knew it was time for a change.
I knew I wanted and deserved something better.
I wanted real joy.
I wanted intimate conversation.
I wanted soul fulfilling connection.
I wanted freedom to be my authentic self.
That is when I created my boyfriend vision board.
How Does A Boyfriend Vision Board Work?
A boyfriend vision board works because you have to dig deep inside yourself and be ready to answer this million dollar question "What am I actually looking for in a life partner?"
When you ask that question, you are forced to think through all the different qualities in a human that really matter to you. After you do that exercise, you’re able to be intentional about the people you spend time with and the people you start to date.
You’re also able to better (and more quickly) determine when a person’s values and behaviors do not align with the things that you value most in a life partner. This allows you to be more discerning with your time, energy and (most importantly) your heart.
How To Create Your Boyfriend Vision Board
I’ve written several times about vision boards and how to create one, and the strategy to build a vision board is similar when creating one for your new, amazing beau. The real difference is in the work you do before you create your vision board.
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Before you grab the magazines and poster board, you must start with a clear vision of what you want out of your future mate.
Write down all the qualities that you would want in a person.
What personal values should they have?
Where do you see you and this person going in 5, 10 and 20 years.
There were three key things on my vision board:
A man smiling and playing with a child: I have a tween daughter so it’s important to me that the person who comes into my life will have a great relationship with her.
The word “Honesty”: After spending entirely too much time with someone who constantly lied to me, I knew that feeling of wondering whether my partner was telling the truth. I knew that feeling of being lied to. I knew that feeling of mistrust. I needed an honest person in my life because I never wanted to feel those feelings again.
Two old people lying in the bed and smiling: The people on my board were easily in their 70’s. This image signified to me what I wanted for my future. Someone that would be around for the long haul and smile at me in the morning - even after 40 years.
Now that I had that image of what I wanted, I knew it when I saw it.
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Chantl founded Thrive Lounge to give women the kick in the pants they need (lovingly, of course) to uncomplicate their goals, stop making excuses, get productive and start living the life they always wanted. Her workbook, The Vision Board Planner, gives women a step-by-step guide to create a super effective and life-changing vision board.