Three years ago, I was working three jobs to pay the minimum on all of the credit card bills and personal loan debt I accrued in my early twenties. I wake up early to go to my receptionist job in the morning, freelance as a marketing strategist in the evenings and then work as a waitress on the weekends. Life was ROUGH.
I felt stuck. I beat myself up for months wondering how I could be so... dumb. I wondered how in the world was this my life.
I knew I had to get myself out of it.
I had no idea what I would do, where to start, or where in the world I'd find the time in my schedule, but I'd struggled long enough. I decided that come hell or high water I would turn my life around.
The first year after making the decision to change my life, I decreased my spending, went back to school, got a job and paid off most of my debt. The following year, I increased my net worth by $20,984.
It all started with making the decision and changing my mindset around my goals. Here are the most important mindset shifts I had to make to boost my confidence in myself and have the determination to keep going.
Mindset shift #1: This is Urgent.
How many times have you noticed a small pain (like back or neck pain), but you don't actually go to a doctor or pay attention to it until it gets too unbearable to ignore?
You tell yourself that you can live with that pain. You can love that guy who doesn't treat your right. You can stay in that job that makes you unhappy.
It's really not that bad, right?
It's easy to see that a change needs to happen, but often we're too comfortable to make a change.
Stop waiting for your situation to become unbearable before you walk away. Screw comfort.
You deserve to live your best life. The fact that you're living anything less is URGENT.
Mindset Shift #2: I deserve more.
Have you ever realized that you were unhappy with your life and instead of making a change, you said something like this:
"I hate my job but should be happy I have a job at all."
"I don't make enough to really enjoy life, but at least I have food on the table."
"He lies to me but at least I have someone to spend my time with." (Ladies... WHY!)
This is often masked as being appreciative or grateful for the things that you have. The reality is you can be grateful for what you have while understanding that you deserve more.
Think about that guy who's constantly lying to you. You can be grateful that he's great company and still let him know that you deserve someone you can trust. This lets him know that you appreciate the time together and gives him the chance to make a change.
The moment you can be honest about those areas in your life where you deserve more, the closer you can get to getting what you really want.
Mindset Shift #3: I am capable of making a difference.
Have you ever looked at a terrible situation and thought... what could I do? I'm just one person!
That feeling of helplessness is a run that's super easy to get stuck in especially when you're struggling and can't see any way out. No matter how much you're struggling, you are capable as long as you do not give up. As long as you need trying, you will move the needle... eventually.
Mindset Shift #4: Nothing Will Change Unless I Make A Change.
In my case, I realized as long as I continued to work three jobs and funnel the money to my bills, I would never get out of this cycle. Only when I made the decision to step out from my persistent panic did I have the opportunity to move forward.
Change has to start somewhere... and you have to choose to start it. No one will do it for you. If you're unhappy, if you "don't feel right" about something you have to make the change. You can make the change.
Mindset Shift #5: I already have Everything I need to be successful.
If only I had the right education.
I could not find a job after graduating from undergrad. I had THE MOST DIFFICULT TIME EVER. I kept telling myself that I'd made a life altering mistake by not attending an Ivy League college for my bachelor's. Because I struggled so much, I convinced myself that only people with the right degrees got jobs. I wasn't smart enough. My parent's didn't have any connections. Therefore, I was destined to fail.
Imagine my surprise when I scored high on the GRE, went to a state school for my master's and landed a job in under a year.
Like me, you do have everything that you need to "make it" in life. It's already inside of you. You just have to activate it.
Mindset Shift #6: Once I start The next step will reveal itself.
I have no idea what to do.
That keeps many people from starting. When I started studying for the GRE for the fourth time, I couldn't even afford to take the test. At that point, I had only agreed with myself that I would start.
After two months of studying a friend asked me when I would take the exam. I told her whenever I could afford it. Imagine my surprise when she whipped out her ipad and credit card and said "you're doing this."
Don't be discouraged with the fact that you don't know what will happen next. When you start to work towards your goals (and have faith that you'll reach them) you'll be surprised at the opportunities that come your way.
Mindset Shift #7: I will find a way around any obstacles I encounter.
I was listening to a podcast yesterday and a young man talked about how he aspired to start a podcast but he couldn't figure out social media. He was worried about learning how to promote a podcast that did not exist yet because he has not even created it. In reality, you don't need social media to create a podcast. He was using that as his excuse to not get started.
If you're starting down a new path that you've never tried before, know that there will be challenges. Also know that you'll find your way around those challenges when the time comes.
You will read books. You will ask google. You will find mentors. You will figure it out.
Mindset Shift #8: The Time To Change Is Today.
Pull the bandage off. The faster you face your problem (and correct your mistakes) the faster you can start making the right decisions for your future.
After all, what good is life experience if you don't learn from it?
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About the author
Cyrene is a fun and accomplished workshop facilitator, learning and development guru and Human Resources professional. Being at the helm of Thrive Lounge has been a long-time dream. Through vision board workshops she plans to accomplish two-way learning. Sharing her vast years of knowledge to motivate and encourage others; while simultaneously getting the reward of great energy, ideas and questions to ponder back from each group. A super win-win. Please join our Thrive Lounge community so you too can benefit!
