Relationship Goals

Create Your Shared Future With a Couples' Vision Board Party

 
couples vb
 

In our second year of being a couple, I sat down with my now-husband to create our first vision board

I let him know that it was important to me that we work towards marriage. I did not want to wait around for a ring, hoping that our relationship would lead to a commitment one day.

I wanted some level of certainty that he was planning, and I was not subtle about my expectations. 😊

He let me know that his health was incredibly important to him and that he wanted to make sure to always make room in the budget to eat well and exercise. 

Together, we wanted to create a simple, but enjoyable life where we did not feel deprived of the “finer” things.

We wanted to set aside money for trips and drinks with friends. We wanted to enjoy each other’s presence, spend time with family, and become a unit. 

This became our marching orders for the next year. 

We made every decision with this vision for the future in mind. 

By the end of that year, we’d traveled to Atlanta, Las Vegas, and Jamaica. We bought our first home near my family in Maryland.

He proposed in the way I’d imagined as a little girl - and we got married in an inexpensive-but-glamorous Las Vegas chapel.  

 
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We created our happily ever after and watched it come true right before our eyes. 

If you’ve ever thought about making a couples’ vision board, my friend, it is SO worth taking the time. 

Sometimes you need a little push to get started, some inspiration, or maybe someone to hold you accountable. 

If that’s how you’re feeling, I highly recommend hosting a couple’s vision board party. 

In this post, I’ll show you how to do it, step by step.

What is a couples’ vision board party? 

A couples’ vision board party is an opportunity for couples to focus on their vision for the future together and to do the work with others who are also working towards their shared future. 

Why should you host one? 

It creates a special time to work on your goals as a couple. Time to ensure that you’re both ready to work towards goals that will lead to your dream life together.

A couples’ vision board party is also an opportunity to spend time with other couples and have some fun along the way.    

It’s an opportunity to align on goals with your significant other, without your children around.

A few to-dos before the party 


Send out invites in advance. 

Check out this post for a bit of inspiration for your vision board party invitations

Your guests may not be familiar with vision boards. Make sure to include some information for your guests about what a vision board party is.

You’ll want them to have time before the party to think about their goals. You may also want to ask them to bring magazines or photos for the board.

Plan your food and drinks. 

A party is always more fun with food and drinks, right? Delicious snacks and drinks are will ensure that growling stomachs don’t keep people from visualizing their fabulous couples’ goals. 

I’ve learned a few tips on vision board party food over the years. Such as BBQ wings aren’t a great choice since they’re so messy. You don’t want BBQ sauce on your vision board. Check out this post with a few more do’s and don’ts for party food.

Brainstorm a topic list for couples to consider discussing.  

If your guests aren’t already aligned on what their goals are, it will help to have a list of topics to help inspire ideas.

You could write them on a board or print them on cute paper. It can be as plain or fancy as you like as long as it gets the conversation going.

Here’s a short list to start with: Health and fitness goals, financial goals, travel bucket lists, spirituality, or career goals.

These topics are starting points for discussion on what each individual wants to achieve. That’s just as important as what they hope to achieve as a couple. Having clarity on individual goals will provide a baseline to help couples start blending their interests into couples’ goals.

Set ground rules for your party.  

It’s essential that you leave dream killers at the door!

Openness is the key to ensuring that both of you feel like you’ve been heard and understood, and to explore your future goals, as individuals and couples. 

During these conversations, accept your partner as they are and think about ways you can support them as they move through their journey. Similarly, advocate for your dreams, as well as changes you would like to make and let your partner know how to support you. 

Find paths to compromise so that each of you can build the vision board for the future of your combined dreams.

Have a discussion with your guests before you start in order to foster openness, honesty, and listening.

The Night of the Party

All of your hard work has led to this. It’s time to create your couples’ vision board with your special someone and allow your friends to do the same!

Have fun, and be sure to have everyone share what their visions are so you can celebrate their goals with them!

Working with your partner to create a couple’s vision board is a great way to build a deeper connection. It helps you align your goals and dreams, to put a focus on them, and to build on your future together.

Hosting a vision board party for other couples can be just what you need to get started, and it can lead to stronger bonds with your couple friends 😀 

What goals would you like to work on with your partner this year? Comment below.

Want To Start Planning Your Vision Board Party? 

  1. Download the FREE vision board party planning checklist.

  2. Craft your inspiring vision board workshop talk with our FREE High Impact Storytelling Journal Prompts

  3. Plan, promote & host your first (or next) professional & profitable vision board workshop with our signature course, Sold Out Vision Board Parties.


ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Cyrene is a fun and accomplished workshop facilitator, learning and development guru and Human Resources professional. Being at the helm of Thrive Lounge has been a long-time dream. Through vision board workshops she plans to accomplish two-way learning. Sharing her vast years of knowledge to motivate and encourage others; while simultaneously getting the reward of great energy, ideas and questions to ponder back from each group. A super win-win. Please join our Thrive Lounge community so you too can benefit!

Seven Guilt Free Ways To Stand Up For Yourself With Confidence

 
not compromising
 

One of the first movie experiences I remember as a young girl was Deliver Us From Eva. It’s a silly movie where a strong, uncompromising woman terrorizes the men married to Eva’s sisters. (Seriously, if you haven’t seen it - it’s good!) 

In this movie, Eva would test food in restaurants and, often, she would give poor quality food low scores. The restaurant owners would ask her to give them time to fix the problem, without recording it... be more “compromising” they asked. 

And she would look them in the eye with fierce confidence and say, ”I wear it with a badge of honor and I’m in damn good company. Martin Luther King was uncompromising…”

As a person who’s always struggled with opening my mouth when I’m offended, I could only wish for that level of confidence when I felt offended or ashamed. 

In reality, I was the exact opposite. 

You see, I had this boyfriend (don’t we all) that made me feel like I lived to serve him… and compromising ME did exactly that. 

Take off of work so you can babysit the kids, Hunny. OK, I’d respond. 

Why are you only wearing sweatpants? You used to dress nice. OK, I’d respond. 

Why do I always have to come home to a dirty home? (Well, there are three kids in here I’d say in my head) Out of my mouth came “OK, I’ll do what I can.” 

This lead to a life of little ol’ me, waking up at 4 AM in the morning to clean the house before my boyfriend woke up, showering, making breakfast and putting on nice clothes so he would be…

Happy. 

But I’m going to be honest here. Becoming that yes woman broke my soul. I wished I could have been a little more uncompromising but I didn’t know how. 

I didn’t know how to be uncompromising and loved at the same time. 

I couldn’t stand up for myself, my wants and my needs without feeling guilty. 

Because of that, I constantly wondered… “how is this my life?”

Related Content: Why Every Struggle You Overcome Is A Gift

Why standing up for yourself is important? 

Standing up for yourself is what allows you to do the things that bring you joy and use your time creating the life you want.

When you don’t stand up for yourself, you allow your time and actions to be dictated by someone else. You give away that opportunity to live in alignment with your values.

Each time I gave in to a task, chore or activity that didn’t align with my values, I felt a little less like “me.” My nature is to achieve - I love to dive into a project and build things. In this relationship, I became a servant, following through on someone else’s needs. 

I dimmed my light. I disappointed myself with every “OK, Hunny” I uttered.

What makes standing up for yourself so darn hard? 

Let’s be honest, if it were easy to stand up for yourself, we’d all be doing it (and I wouldn’t have anything to write about). 

Standing up for yourself requires you ruffle some feathers and you have no idea how someone will react to you choosing yourself over their desires. 

They might think you’re selfish. They might get angry. They might tell you you’re crazy. 

And in your heart, you want to be helpful - especially if you love them. 

What are the real benefits of standing up for yourself? 

Let’s get one thing straight. When you stand up for yourself, you immediately reduce stress because you’ve made a decision that aligns with your values. You followed your gut and that makes you feel good! 

You boost your confidence in your ability to choose what’s right for you.

Finally, you’ll have more time and energy to dedicate to your own projects and the things that bring you joy because by being uncompromising you only add complexity to your life where you want to.

I didn’t get to experience any of those benefits in that relationship because I was not yet sure how. 

How To Stand Up For Yourself, Without Feeling Guilty 

Understand that you, too, have needs. 

Imagine someone asks you to babysit, but you really don’t want to. However, you babysit anyway because you want to help the people that you love to reach their goals. 

Babysitting for a day means that you don’t get to spend your day working towards your own goals. 

You’ve essentially traded your dream for someone else’s. Be kind to yourself and treat YOUR dreams as seriously as you do theirs.

Related Content: How to Rebuild Confidence After A Break Up

Ask for what you want in a way that feels good for you.

I’ve always had a problem saying no. However, it does feel good to me to offer something that does work for my time and my schedule. 

Let’s take the same example from earlier - babysitting so that someone can go to work. I have a rigorous routine that I only shift for big life events - birthdays anniversaries and such. I cannot babysit during the week because of my routine, but Saturdays are open for “family fun” days. 

If you want, I can bring your child along with our “family fun” days. That’s my time to dedicate to spend with loved ones. 

By offering something that feels good for you, you can honor your needs and still help out in a way that feels right.

Change the ask.

Sometimes there is a viable alternative to the ask that you can offer.

For example, my mom asked me to pick up my little sister and shuttle her 1 hour away from my house. It would’ve been a 2-hour time commitment for me. I didn’t want to do that, but also wanted to help. 

“Can I send an Uber for her?” I offered. 

By offering an alternative that I felt good about my mom gets what she wants (a ride for my little sister) while I get to keep my time. 

Set boundaries with loved ones. 

This can be tough, but so necessary. If you have a loved one who you always say yes to, it might be a bit of a transition when you start to set boundaries.

Decide ahead of time what you are and aren’t willing to do. Then speak your boundaries clearly. You don’t have to be mean or angry when you set your boundaries, just be matter of fact and to the point.

Stick to your boundaries. 

This is super important. Once you’ve set a boundary, you HAVE to stick to it. If you are wishy-washy, then the other person will know that they can talk you into whatever they want. And they won’t take you seriously when you set a real boundary.

Follow your gut

Very often you already know what you want to do and you actively choose to do something different. The more that you listen to your intuition, the better you’ll be at trusting yourself.

Don’t talk yourself into doing or accepting things that you know you’ll end up regretting.

Practice makes perfect.

The more you can stand up for yourself the better you’ll get at it. Start somewhere and keep trying. 

Even if you start somewhere small, like speaking up when your food isn’t what you ordered at a restaurant or telling a friend that you can’t make an event because you have other priorities that you need to focus on.

Build on the small things and soon enough you’ll be standing strong in the big things.

Action Items For Reader

  1. Write down the last three experiences you wished you were more uncompromising. 

  2. Re-write the ending to that story in a way that feels good. (Hint: Stand up for yourself!)

  3. Practice taking those actions in real life.

The moment you decide to stop compromising on your needs, you immediately start to build confidence in your ability to serve yourself. You give yourself the opportunity to trust that you’ll make the right decisions in each moment. You also strengthen your ability to choose yourself.

What is one thing that you will stop compromising on? 

Want To Start Planning Your Vision Board Party? 

  1. Download the FREE vision board party planning checklist.

  2. Craft your inspiring vision board workshop talk with our FREE High Impact Storytelling Journal Prompts

  3. Plan, promote & host your first (or next) professional & profitable vision board workshop with our signature course, Sold Out Vision Board Parties.


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Chantl

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

I'm passionate about vision boards and hosting vision board parties. Thrive Lounge is the ultimate resource for hosting high impact vision board parties and creating vision boards that work.


How to Win at Peer to Peer Mentoring

 
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Peer to peer mentoring can be a very rewarding experience that often leads to lifelong friendships and bonds. Great mentors have the ability to build relationships with people, ask uncomfortable questions and share their insecurities. They help people reach their goals in many different areas of life. Not-so-great mentors struggle to create an emotional bond with their mentee and their relationships can fizzle out pretty quick.

These tips will make sure you're a great mentor.

REACH OUT TO THEM PERIODICALLY

My goal was to use my experiences to help others move forward in their life, reach their goals and then reach for even bigger goals. It’s very easy to get bogged down with all the little things in life like work, school, errands, personal care, health, family, friends, vacation, religious obligations, and the list goes on.

It may seem like you don’t have time to be a mentor.

As an adult, one of my greatest learnings was to take time out for other people. Show them that you care about them by picking up the phone giving them a call. Ask them how their day was and take an interest in what's going on in their lives. Do the same for your mentee. Reaching out to them shows them that you are genuinely interested in their life and their success.

It opens the door of communication and invites them in.

Invite them out for lunch or coffee or happy hour. This gives the two of you time to connect personally and get to know each other a bit outside of a business or an educational setting. Simply picking up the phone to give your mentee a call or shooting them an email out of the blue will put a smile on their face and keep you connected as time goes on.

MAKE NOTE OF THEIR SPECIAL DAYS

Don't take the time that you have with your mentee for granted. Instead, when your mentee tells you that they're going to MIT for the summer internship (like my awesome mentee did #goalgetter) make a note of the date. When the time comes around, send them tips relevant to their new journey.

If they are starting a new job, make a note of the date so you can send them "new job" tips or share a story from your first day at work. Send them a congratulations or a ‘you got this’ text.

Make it your job to know when their birthday is and how old they'll be. If you're 30 and your mentee is 25, you can share stories with them from your mid-twenties. You can share the lessons you wish you knew at 25. You can help them better prepare for the new challenges ahead of them, whether it's business or personal.

KNOW WHAT THEIR GOALS ARE

As a mentor, you are utterly useless if you can't help your mentee move up in their life. If you make a conscious effort to understand your mentee's goals, you are in a much better position to help them actually achieve them. Encourage them. Keep them accountable. Check in on their progress. (side bonus: you’ll be more motivated to crush your own goals while you help other crush theirs).

Related Content: How to Set the Right Goals in All Areas of Your Life

Help them network in order to reach their goals. If they are in a different field as you, you can help them expand their network and learn new skills by introducing them to your network. If you are in the same field, you will be able to help them potentially land internships and jobs through your own connections.

USE THE GIFT OF FORESIGHT (OR AT LEAST TRY TO)

If your mentee is in school, make a note of when the mid-term and final exams are at their school. This way you will be able to send them inspirational confidence-boosting emails right before they start taking their tests. If your mentee is in an internship or job, help them prepare for evaluations, mid-year reviews or negotiations. Try to account for every stumbling block your mentee could encounter on their journey and make it your job to help them through it, using your experiences as a guide.

In order to be successful at using foresight, you need to really….listen. Sometimes we have so much experience to share, we forget to be good listeners. You won’t be able to know what they really need if you don’t listen to what their saying.

SHARE YOUR FAILURES WITH THEM

Though many people don't want to admit it, we have all failed at something at some time in our lives. On the bright side, those failures usually teach us life’s greatest lessons and allow us to grow incredibly for the better. We are given the gift of our struggles because once we get through them, we now have a roadmap that we can provide to other people in order to help them rise out of their biggest problems in life.

The greatest gift you can give your mentee is to share these stories. The most painful stories of your life have likely taught you more than all of the times you triumphed with minimal effort. These are the lessons that hold great value for your mentee. These are the stories that will propel them forward when they reach hard times.

GET A GOOD MENTOR

A great way to learn to BE a good mentor, is to HAVE a good mentor to learn from. Seek out someone you admire and ask if they’d be willing to mentor you. Ask someone who is 1 or 2 jobs above you to teach you their ways.

Being a mentor is one of the most rewarding ways to spend your time. Share your knowledge with others. It doesn't help anyone if you keep all that wonderful experience to yourself. :-) Your story is meant to be shared.

Want To Start Planning Your Vision Board Party? 

  1. Download the FREE vision board party planning checklist.

  2. Craft your inspiring vision board workshop talk with our FREE High Impact Storytelling Journal Prompts

  3. Plan, promote & host your first (or next) professional & profitable vision board workshop with our signature course, Sold Out Vision Board Parties.


This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclosure for more info.


About the author

Cyrene is a fun and accomplished workshop facilitator, learning and development guru and Human Resources professional. Being at the helm of Thrive Lounge has been a long-time dream. Through vision board workshops she plans to accomplish two-way learning. Sharing her vast years of knowledge to motivate and encourage others; while simultaneously getting the reward of great energy, ideas and questions to ponder back from each group. A super win-win. Please join our Thrive Lounge community so you too can benefit!

How To Create A Vision Board To Love Your Damn Self

This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclosure for more info.

 
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After several years of terrible dates and a few kinda-dating-but-not-really situationships, I completely gave up on any hope of finding love.

I was 98% sure that the problem was me…

  • I was too sweet and nice girls aren’t taken seriously in relationships.

  • I was too driven and guys were obviously intimidated by me.

  • Guys just want to talk to me because I’m fun and positive, but they never really see a future with me. (Sad, right?)

I couldn’t help but to give up.

I truly believed that I’d just end up alone. I envisioned myself sitting on my couch with a glass of wine, watching Netflix, always longing for the next Girls Night Out where my married friends would swear my guy was out there and it was only a matter of time. (Yes, this is actually what I was thinking!)

I felt defeated by love… unworthy of love… unwanted.

Giving up was my way of convincing myself that being alone was my choice. In reality, I would’ve settled for anything at that point (and sometimes I did).

I needed to pull myself out of that slump and re-learn that I am a valuable human. I have a lot to contribute to anyone in my presence, whether it’s friends, family, acquaintances or love interests. I am enough.

Somewhere along the long, winding road of rejection I’d forgotten that.

That’s when I decided I’d create my vision board in a way that reflects self love.

What is A Self-Love Vision Board?

A vision board is a tool that helps people envision what they want out of their life. The goal is to manifest (or command that the universe deliver) the future that you want to achieve. You can create a vision board for love, money, relationships, career, education and any other area of your life that’s important to you.

Related Content: How to Create a Couples Vision Board

Related Content: How to Manifest Real Love with a Boyfriend Vision Board

A self love vision board specifically focuses on your ability to love yourself. This will include:

  • Tools you use for self care

  • Activities and people that bring you joy

  • Steps you take to release self-doubt, self-sabotage and limiting beliefs

  • Affirming quotes and images that represent your definition of loving yourself

Why Does A Self-Love Vision Board Work?

Your self love vision board is your tool to remind yourself that you’re worthy of love from yourself and that self-love is available to you 24/7, 365 days a year.

When I gave up on finding someone to love, I wasn’t giving up on love all together. Instead, I wanted to feel love; I didn’t want the feeling of anxiety around love.

I didn’t want to wonder if someone out there would discover me, be enamored by me and deem me worthy of love. I found myself lingering in limbo waiting for love to come to me.

The self love vision board gave me all the tools I needed to re-discover all of the things that make me happy as an individual. Through happiness, I re-discovered my ability to love myself.

How To Create Your Self-Love Vision Board

Creating your self love vision board requires you to ask yourself the tough questions and be honest with yourself about what you need to be happy with yourself.

What things make me happy that don’t cost any money?

What is that thing you can do without spending a dime and it immediately lifts your spirits and energizes you?

For example, I enjoy bubble baths by candle light and listening to jazz music, reading with tea in the mornings or spending time with my daughter playing video games.

In the last 7 days, what activities brought me joy?

When most people think about joy, their mind jumps to some extravagant moment: family trips, extended vacations, world travel. But the reality of your life is made up of the every day moments: going to the grocery store and heading to work.

Self love is about finding joy and love in your life in the every day. This question allows you to pinpoint the moments of your every day life where you find happiness and joy.

When can I schedule in more of these activities?

Happiness increases when the things that bring you joy and the way you spend your time are aligned. Can you schedule in more time for the things that make you happy on a daily, weekly or monthly basis?

What do I love about myself?

Self love can also come in the form of appreciation for your individual qualities. What makes you special or different? What is that thing only you do that makes you smile?

What are my 5 biggest accomplishments in the last year?

When you’re feeling insecure or that pain of not-enough-ness, it helps to remind yourself of the things that prove you’re an amazing human on this earth.

For example, when I fail at my day job, I feel insecure about my skills. However, I have a list of amazing things that I’ve done that reminds me that I’m not a terrible person who sucks at her job (I really do think that sometimes). I’m simply a human who made a mistake.

What is an affirmation I can use to strengthen my mindset when I feel fear?

Think about the reason you need self love in this moment of your life. Is there something you fear that’s giving you anxiety? If so, take account of all the negative feelings you have around love.

In my example, I was afraid that I wasn’t worthy of love and I’d end up alone.

To counteract that, I asked myself: “What would my life look like if I did end up alone?”

I would still kick ass at work. I would still build a supportive and powerful community around me. I would still enjoy my time with family and friends. 95% of my life would be exactly the same with or without a partner.

I started to use the affirmation “My life is meaningful with or without a partner. My happiness is not contingent upon finding love.”

This one affirmation helped me to release those fears and allowed me to fall in love with myself again.

Once you have the answers to these questions, it’s time to create your vision board.

  1. Gather all the materials you need to create a vision board: poster board, magazines, scissors, glue

  2. Page through the magazines to find the images and quotes that match your self-love goals

  3. Glue your selections onto your poster board

  4. When you finish you vision board, place it in a common area you’ll see it every day.

It’s time to take action. Make sure that you’re not just dreaming about caring for and loving yourself - you have to make the space to do it!

xoxo

Want To Start Planning Your Vision Board Party? 

  1. Download the FREE vision board party planning checklist.

  2. Craft your inspiring vision board workshop talk with our FREE High Impact Storytelling Journal Prompts

  3. Plan, promote & host your first (or next) professional & profitable vision board workshop with our signature course, Sold Out Vision Board Parties.


ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Cyrene is a fun and accomplished workshop facilitator, learning and development guru and Human Resources professional. Being at the helm of Thrive Lounge has been a long-time dream. Through vision board workshops she plans to accomplish two-way learning. Sharing her vast years of knowledge to motivate and encourage others; while simultaneously getting the reward of great energy, ideas and questions to ponder back from each group. A super win-win. Please join our Thrive Lounge community so you too can benefit!