Rise From Rock Bottom

Eight Powerful Lessons You Gain When You Lose Everything

 
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This post was originally published Mar 16, 2019.  Updated:  December 4, 2023

Hello Thrive Lounge Worldwide Community!

Below is an original essay written and shared by one of the best in the business world and the vision board community - Chantl M. It is being re-posted because so many of us are trying to build or rebuild a great life that we deserve. But sometimes hit some bumps.

Why do we deserve a great life? Because we are each amazing human beings with precious hearts and souls. We have a purpose in life and we need to find a way to share our precious gifts with the world; while simultaneously achieving our best lives.

For those of you looking for LESSONS LEARNED, INSPIRATION, HOPE AND MOTIVATION TO MOVE FORWARD, please read on.


Eight Powerful Lessons You Gain When You Lose Everything

At the age of 25, I moved back home… into my mother's basement. I couldn't afford a bed so I bought a large blow-up mattress for $40.

Imagine a near-empty room, in a basement, no carpet, a blow up mattress and a computer desk. (Sounds, kinda jail-ish, doesn’t it?)  

I'm also a single mom so I shared that room with my daughter.

Just one year prior, I lived in a luxury (read: expensive) apartment in a great school district, riding around in my Mercedes Benz truck.

Talk about humbling...

I remember the first time I mustered up the courage to tell my friends that I would be getting rid of my fancy car. 

"But why!?" They asked.

"Are you sure?" They persisted.

I didn't have a choice. I could no longer afford my lifestyle.

First, I replaced the fancy car with a car that aligned with my income.

It was a ragged car and the trunk didn't close. A tiny string held the lid down just enough so that the truck appeared closed sometimes.

As I drove, the trunk would wobble up and down and other drivers would stop me to tell me that my trunk was open. Occasionally, the string would break in the middle of the street and I'd have to pull over to re-tie it.

Talk about humbling...

I eventually sold that car to help pay for school and began taking the bus everywhere. (Also humbling.

I lived this lifestyle - in my mother's basement with my daughter - for nearly a year while I went to grad school.

That was the most transformative time in my life that gave me the skills, strength and flexibility to grow into the person I am today

These are the lessons I learned on that journey:

 

You can deflate your lifestyle and the world won’t fall apart

Lifestyle inflation hit me like a ton of bricks.

I didn't even realize that I was trying to keep up with social norms and expectations by moving to an expensive location (that I really couldn’t afford) so my daughter could attend "the good school."

I always thought that I was doing "the right thing" for my child, even if I was extending my finances too far.

When we did move out and she went to a school that didn't have a 9/10 rating on GreatSchools.org (that really means something to parents) SHE WAS FINE.

I realized that while looking for the “great school” I completely discounted the work that I do at home as her parent. She still learns. She still gets a well-rounded education. She’s still my brilliant little girl. She’s not defined by “the good school.”

 

Your Priorities

The quest to live on less to be able to discover my path meant that I would have to give up some things.

First, I gave up my car, then my apartment, then I gave up my outward appearance, then I gave up the obligations to others. Slowly, but surely, I realized that I had to de-prioritize things that didn’t matter to make myself a priority.

I felt more free every time I made the decision that something didn’t matter. For the first time in my life, my actions were matching up to my core values.

 

What you really need to be happy

You know, I really thought I needed that Benz to be happy.

I thought that having a luxury car (even though I had zero dollars in my bank account) meant that I was one of the elite. People looked at me differently when I pulled up in a Benz.

I was fancy. And I liked that feeling.

When I got rid of my car, I realized I love the feeling of not having a car. I love walking around in the summer and the cold breeze on my face in the winter. I feel refreshed and free.

You haven't lost anything

The second you start to give up on the "nice-to-haves" you start to realize that you can really live without them. 

The only things I gave up by not having a car were my car note, car insurance, regular maintenance and the occasional speeding ticket. To be honest, losing those things contributed more to my life because I was more carefree than ever before!

 

Your "real" friends

Some of your friends will start to remove themselves from your life (you know, the ones that only show up when it’s time to party). Once you stop spending money on things that aren't necessities, you may realize that you don't have as much in common with some folks. 

And that's OK.

You’ll also notice that there are your other friends. The ones that cheer you on as you start to pay off your debt. The ones that sit alongside you and study with you for the GRE. The ones that support you by showing up and being present in your darkest hour.

Your rock bottom is only the beginning for your strongest friendships.

 

You can rebuild your life the way you want

The most beautiful things about rock bottom is that you have nothing to lose.

You've likely suffered a fair amount of embarrassment. You've probably done all of the things you said you'd never do (like move back in with your parents). You may even have given up more times than you’d like to admit.

With nothing left anchoring you to who you were, you have the flexibility and opportunity to build the person you want to be. 

 

You won't do it alone

Poverty has a way of making you feel like you're the only one suffering. However, everyone's been through some sort of pain and suffering at some point. In fact, no matter how bad you feel there's always someone out there who has it ten times worse. 

Here's what will surprise you: Your friends and family will rally around you to lift you higher. (That's assuming you're a halfway decent person and, therefore, have at least 1 friend.) 

 

You'll Learn To Love It

It can be difficult to make the transition from having a lot to having nothing. Change is hard.  

Maybe you feel bad for your predicament in the first week. But after a while, you'll start to notice a shift. You'll start to feel like yourself again. You'll realize that you can now move forward as who you want to be. 

You'll see that you're free to become you.

 xoxo

 

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Color Matters: Boost Mental Health…and score a BONUS BENEFIT for your undertone

 
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Colors are a great tool for personal development and are good for your mental health. They can boost your work efficiency and give you more peace of mind. Each color has a different value, and you should become familiar with which colors work together to make you feel your best. Most of us associate certain colors with happy memories - a definite plus!


Rainbow of Warm and Cool Colors

According to an article in Psychology Today color can invoke an emotional response.  What that means is you can steer your mood or create a certain room ambiance in terms of color selection.  Have you heard of warm or cool colors?  Psychology classifies colors as being “warm” (reds and oranges) and “cool” (blues and greens). They also explain that humans are drawn to warm colors, such as reds and oranges.  For example, warm colors can be used to draw people’s attention toward a particular section of a large space.  In contrast, we see designers all the time use light colors in smallish rooms to make the space appear larger.

Here are more in-depth details about popular primary colors and their effects.


Blue

Blue is a color with a calming effect on the human mind. It increases mood, confidence, and energy levels, and is also helpful in promoting a healthy liver. It also boosts creativity. The psychological effects of color are influenced by the wavelengths in which each color affects the brain. Blue, for example, is often associated with peace and tranquility, while red tends to cause anger. Hence, it's important to pay attention to how a certain color makes you feel and take into consideration any influences that may have affected your feelings.

Several studies have proven that blue has positive effects on mental health. In addition to relaxing the mind, it lowers blood pressure and helps reduce stress. In addition, blue enhances creativity, memory, and alertness. It may even improve the mood of people who are suffering from depression. Moreover, it enhances spirituality and peace of mind. In addition, it's the most preferred color among men.

Another study has shown that blue makes you feel more confident and calm. People who work in intellectual environments benefit from blue environments. They are more likely to be focused and productive. While blue may be calming, vibrant colors can also enhance your mood. People all over the world have a fondness for blue. Blue is also associated with water, and humans have long associated it with healing.

The hue, saturation, and brightness of colors affect our mood. The brightest, saturated colors can induce the strongest emotional reaction. Researchers have also linked different colors with specific mental states, including depression and anxiety. The practice of "color therapy," or chromotherapy, combines color knowledge and psychology to promote mental health. The concept behind color therapy is that every color has its own unique wavelength and vibration, and these wavelengths can influence our emotions.

Want To Start Planning Your Vision Board Workshop? 

  • Thrive Lounge can get you started with our vision board workshop STARTER KIT. Click here for all the details.

 

Red

Bold and eye-catching red.  People seeing others in front of red backgrounds may find those individuals more attractive than when they see them silhouetted against say, a lighter-colored background. Red can be perceived as a burst of strength. Great idea for a powerful accent wall or gym areas, etc. Seeing red has been linked to impaired analytical reasoning.  Therefore, likely a bad option for offices, where we need staff to have an optimal environment for innovative thinking and problem-solving.

 

Indigo

The color indigo is associated with intuition and imagination, and it can boost mental health. It can also help reduce stress and increase self-awareness. It can also enhance extrasensory perception and help us develop creative thinking. The color is also calming to the respiratory system, and it can reduce swelling and bleeding. It can also tone the skin.

Indigo is also a good choice for meditation since it promotes deep concentration, which can help you reach deeper levels of consciousness. This color is associated with the New Age, which relies on intuition to help people achieve their goals. The hue is a combination of violet and blue and is neutral in nature. However, some people associate it with separateness.

The color indigo is also said to promote healing, which can benefit the mind, body, and spirit. When you see the color in meditation, you can visualize healing light in your mind. Try taking a deep breath and picturing an indigo ray of light. The colors can be beneficial for people with headaches, vision issues, or sleep disorders.


Yellow

Yellow is one of the most uplifting colors for many people. Psychologists and designers have studied its effect on people. It can evoke a wide variety of psychological responses, some universal and some cultural. However, some colors can affect different people in different ways. Yellow may boost your mood more than others, depending on the way you view the color.

This warm, sunny color is associated with mental clarity and intelligence. It also stimulates creativity. It has a calming effect on the nervous and digestive systems and boosts metabolism. However, yellow is not without its downsides. It reflects high amounts of light, so it may affect vision. If you use too much yellow in your office or at home, it can lead to eye strain.

Yellow is also a mood booster, especially for entrepreneurs and innovators. It can stimulate creativity, which can make you more optimistic. It also creates a soothing effect, which may be beneficial for people who are unsure of their future. Green is another color that promotes mental health, as it strikes the right balance between primary colors and creates a sense of calm. Green is also beneficial to people who meditate.

Yellow is an eye-catching color, but should be used in moderation in advertisements. It is a happy color, and people who drive yellow cars are often happier. This is because people like to be noticed, and yellow helps people to be seen. Yellow is also a great color for your home, and you can enhance your mood with yellow accessories and accents.

Orange is another color that can increase your energy. It can also increase productivity. This color is a combination of physical red and emotional yellow and is associated with happiness and determination. It is possible to overdo it, though.

 

Turquoise

Turquoise can be a soothing color that restores the spirit, particularly during times of stress and loneliness. It also encourages creativity, calms the nerves, and increases sensitivity. Turquoise also aids in the development of clear thought, clearer decisions, and increased self-esteem. It is also a good choice for those who wish to increase their spirituality or develop empathy.

Turquoise is known as the stone of truth.  During a presentation, you could leverage turquoise to have your audience see you as speaking more truthfully and openly. It also reduces social anxiety and improves understanding in the world. Turquoise comes in a variety of shades and each one offers a different benefit. Light blue turquoise is the most optimistic shade and is supposed to bring inner harmony and peace to its user. Green turquoise, on the other hand, is said to help people overcome panic attacks and anxiety by allowing them to see things from a different perspective.


Orange

Here’s something you may not have known.  The antioxidants found in oranges may protect mental health. A 2018 study in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition suggests that a higher flavonoid intake is linked to lower risk of depression and weight gain. Another study published in the journal Current Development in Nutrition suggests that flavonoids from citrus peels may also prevent the growth of cancer cells by supporting apoptosis.

 

Neutral colors

Colors that boost mental health are warm-toned and neutral. While red and blue can provoke feelings of sadness and anger, neutral colors like brown and gray can help people feel relaxed and comfortable. In addition, they also increase sensitivity and enhance creativity. However, there are a few caveats when choosing colors.

Although there is no definitive link between color and mood, it is known to improve the perception of those who are around it. Neutral colors boost mental health by enhancing a person's perception of color. They help people feel more relaxed and help them sleep better. Using shades of yellow that are less saturated also helps to improve mood. It's also a great choice for sunny rooms, as yellow can intensify the effect of sunlight.

 

Purple

Purple colors are calming and reassuring to the mind. These hues are often found in flowers, such as purple anemones, and are known to boost your mood and creativity. Purple is also thought to increase your insight and creativity. It can help you focus on your goals and keep you calm.

Purple can also boost your spirituality and mental clarity. Purple has been associated with royalty and prosperity. It promotes creativity and memory recall, and can improve alertness and focus. It can be especially beneficial for those who are feeling low or depressed. Purple light bulbs can be placed in your bedroom to help boost your mood and energy. Blue is also a soothing, comforting color. Studies have shown that it can improve people's feelings of trust and serenity. It may help you cope with problems.

 

Color and Undertone

Undertone in this context is simply what colors may look best on you.  We mention it here because it may be worth you knowing this.  Looking in the mirror and liking what you see before a much-anticipated date, a coveted interview, or an important presentation is key.  Stack the odds in your favor and learn to work with your undertone by using complementary colors.

We hope that you found this information helpful.  It offers an interesting perspective on how color can affect our daily lives.  Reflect on how you can use color to enhance your mental well-being.  Additionally, play with color in your home, work, or business. 


Drop a comment below: What do you do to build up your confidence before a workshop or public speaking event?

 

Want To Start Planning Your Vision Board Workshop? 

  • Thrive Lounge can get you started with our vision board workshop STARTER KIT. Click here for all the details.

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Cyrene is a fun and accomplished workshop facilitator, learning and development guru and Human Resources professional. Being at the helm of Thrive Lounge has been a long-time dream. Through vision board workshops she plans to accomplish two-way learning. Sharing her vast years of knowledge to motivate and encourage others; while simultaneously receiving back the reward of great energy, ideas and questions to ponder from the TL group. A super win-win!

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How to Ask Family for Money to Reach Your Goals

 
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When I was trying to go back to school to get my Master's, I was in a rough place.

I was working 3 jobs and waking up at 3AM to study for the GRE. I had no idea when I was actually going to take the GRE….. because I couldn't afford it. I was exhausted, but still determined.

I just kept studying.

A close friend of mine asked me when I'd be taking the GRE because I had been studying for over two months. I responded ‘I have no idea, whenever I get the money’. Immediately, she pulled out her iPad and her credit card and said "Pick your date. I'll pay for it." #wow

After I took the exam and applied to school with a free voucher, I received an acceptance letter that said that in order to hold my spot, I'd need to come up with $1,000 in two weeks. #stressing

Needless to say….. I didn't have a dollar to my name.

I decided to call up friends and family and asked them for $50, $100 or whatever they could spare. I promised that I would pay them back as soon as I graduated and got a job.

Guess what? Within 48 hours, I had $1,000 to go back to school!

Related Content: How to Guarantee Grad School is Worth Your Time & Money

I graduated with a job making more than triple what I was making before. And now I was only working one job instead of three. #happydance I called Every. Single. Person. on my list so that I could pay them back...

... and every single one of them refused to take my money. #blessed

I graduated. I'm now living my dream. That was more than enough for them.

Asking people for money, can be scary and shameful, especially when you’ve always been able to take care of yourself. But here is what I did to make it a little easier:

I called my friends and family and personally asked them.

I drove to them to pick up the money.

I had already did 90% of the work.

I ONLY asked for what I needed to get to the next step.


I am more than happy to pay it forward where it makes sense and when it's truly genuine. If a close friend asks for a small contribution…… I'll be the first to whip out my card.

The people who did it for me, made the difference between me going into debt and eating the free leftover sandwiches from my receptionist job for dinner and me now being able to live my best life.

I'm more than happy to do the same for others.

Don’t be afraid to make the ask, and don’t forget to pay it forward.

Want To Start Planning Your Vision Board Party? 

  1. Download the FREE vision board party planning checklist.

  2. Craft your inspiring vision board workshop talk with our FREE High Impact Storytelling Journal Prompts

  3. Plan, promote & host your first (or next) professional & profitable vision board workshop with our signature course, Sold Out Vision Board Parties.


This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclosure for more info.


ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Cyrene is a fun and accomplished workshop facilitator, learning and development guru and Human Resources professional. Being at the helm of Thrive Lounge has been a long-time dream. Through vision board workshops she plans to accomplish two-way learning. Sharing her vast years of knowledge to motivate and encourage others; while simultaneously getting the reward of great energy, ideas and questions to ponder back from each group. A super win-win. Please join our Thrive Lounge community so you too can benefit!

If You Want To Be Happy, Try Journaling

 
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A few years ago, I was incredibly depressed.

My finances were spiraling out of control. I had a huge amount of debt. I ended up doing a voluntary repossession of my car, AND I moved back in with my parents…. after 6 years of living on my own. #thiswasnthowIplannedmylife

Related Content: Eight Powerful Lessons You Gain When You Lose Everything

It was a very low point in my life, but there was one thing that kept me going. That one thing, was waking up every morning, grabbing a cup of hot tea, and journaling about anything and everything that was on my mind.

For many people, journaling is therapeutic, but for me it was life saving.

Related Content: 5 Things to do Instead of Committing Suicide

Many of the benefits I got from journaling are things you may not see, but that will end up making a HUGE difference in your life.


TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF

In everyday life, we spend time worrying about our boss, our bills, our family and friends. If you're a parent, that worry and devotion to others is multiplied tenfold as the free time that you do get, usually goes to your children.
Taking a moment to journal gives you the opportunity to check in with yourself. It gives you the opportunity to ask yourself what you want out of life today, and every day going forward. It also gives you a moment that is for you and only you.

TAKE STEPS TOWARDS ACHIEVING YOUR GOALS

Studies show that peole who write down their goals accomplish more than those who don't.

With a journal in hand, you have a daily reminder to think about your goals. Write. Them. Down. By constantly thinking about what you want, and actually putting it it in writing, your goals will be at the forefront of your mind during your everyday life. Subconsciously, your goals will start pushing you forward every day.

HELP YOU FOCUS

Have  you ever felt like you have too much on your brain? That's probably because….. you do.

Journaling gives you a space to unload all the little things on your brain that you think about. Sometimes unloading them can help you to prioritize them. And having a clear focus on what you need to accomplish, will reduce stress in your life.


REMIND YOU OF YOUR GROWTH

If you can make a daily habit of writing in your journal, over the years you will have a log of all the things that you thought about, all the things that you wanted out of life, and all the struggles along the way. As you accomplish your goals, take a look back through earlier pages. It will show you just how much you have grown and accomplished over time. It may surprise you how much you can grow in just one year.


HELP YOU CHANGE YOUR MINDSET

Journals are also associated with mindfulness and reflection.

In my journal, I go a step further and add an affirmation every day. In the lowest times during my life, finding a new affirmation for each day would give me a theme for the day to strive for. It was a positive reminder that I could accomplish anything that I put my mind to and that I could turn this ship around.

Related Content: Why Every Struggle You Overcome is a Gift

Related Content: Top 10 Quotes Guaranteed to Inspire a Kick Ass Day

As I wrote in my journal each day, I realized that even if today didn’t turn out so good, it would NOT define the end of my story. Slowly, but surely, I stopped thinking about how many things were going wrong. I started asking myself how could I fix them, and I started seeing the good in each day.

If you allow it to, journaling can be a great tool to help you reflect on your past and on the goals you have set for your future. In more ways than one, your journal can help you reach those goals and change your mindset. #goalgetters #mindsetreset #rise

Want To Start Planning Your Vision Board Party? 

  1. Download the FREE vision board party planning checklist.

  2. Craft your inspiring vision board workshop talk with our FREE High Impact Storytelling Journal Prompts

  3. Plan, promote & host your first (or next) professional & profitable vision board workshop with our signature course, Sold Out Vision Board Parties.


This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclosure for more info.


ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Cyrene is a fun and accomplished workshop facilitator, learning and development guru and Human Resources professional. Being at the helm of Thrive Lounge has been a long-time dream. Through vision board workshops she plans to accomplish two-way learning. Sharing her vast years of knowledge to motivate and encourage others; while simultaneously getting the reward of great energy, ideas and questions to ponder back from each group. A super win-win. Please join our Thrive Lounge community so you too can benefit!