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Have you ever had that nagging feeling that keeps you up at night, ruminating over what went wrong and how you could’ve done something differently, made a smarter decision, or had the right come-back line.
You replay the moment over in your head and you can’t get your mind off of it.
We’ve all been there.
How do I regain my peace of mind after a moment of weakness, failure, frustration or loneliness?
What is Peace Of Mind?
It’s exactly as it sounds. When you have peace of mind, you move throughout your life without shame, doubt or guilt. You accept where you are in your life today. Your mind is quiet and calm.
Why is Peace of Mind Important?
Through peace of mind you can have more confidence in your abilities. You can trust yourself to make decisions that are in your best interest. You don’t take action out of fear or pain. You don’t negate or diminish your worth in the presence of others. You don’t connect your worth to any one point in time. You don’t feel uneasy going through life.
When Do You Need To Use Peace of Mind Tools?
These tools come in handy when you’ve recently experienced a moment of regret, shame, or pain. At these times in your life, it’s easy to blame yourself for your situation and worry about what could happen as a result of your misgivings.
Peace of mind tools pull you out of that moment quicker so that you can regain confidence in yourself and your decisions.
Where Can You Find Peace of Mind?
Two factors contribute to your ability to find peace of mind: time and distance.
You can wait for enough time to pass where the pain of your mistake weakens and you’ve had more experience throughout life.
An example of this is heartbreak. The first day of a breakup can seem impossible to get over. You replay every last conversation in your mind, wondering if you could’ve said something different or done something different to make things right. After a while, you think about the situation less as time goes by. You get used to the idea of being without that person and start to create new routines.
You can distance yourself (and your worth) from your pain intentionally, and create that space between the pain purposefully.
Breakup is great example here as well. You can intentionally do things with your time to ensure you’re not thinking about your past love. You can spend more time with friends, pick up a new hobby or start dating again. All of these things distance your mind from the situation and help you find peace in your daily life.
How To Create Peace of Mind (Even When Everything’s Gone Wrong)
Self Forgiveness
Yes, the first thing you have to do once shit hits the fan is forgive yourself for your part in this moment.
You will make mistakes, bad decisions and (sometimes) you’ll be super selfish or too giving in a way that you later regret. Rather than blame yourself in this moment, accept that you’ve done something you’re not proud of.
You take the first step in forgiving yourself the moment you accept, forgive and love yourself for all the choices you’ve made (not just the good ones).
Remember the Past
As much as you replay this moment in your head, you would think it’s the first time you’ve experienced this. However, it’s likely not.
Thinking about the last time you suffered through a similar experience helps to remind you what happens next.
For example, during my last heartbreak, I started to think I’d never find love because there’s something wrong with me.
Then, I thought back to past relationships and what happened when they came to an end. I always found love again. That fact gave me the confidence that I didn’t choose wrong, there’s nothing wrong with me, I’m not incapable of long-lasting love. I’m simply ready to find love again. :)
Own Your Mistake
We all make mistakes, and the first thing you must do to achieve peace of mind with your decisions is to accept that your decisions lead to mistakes occurring. When you can pinpoint exactly what you did to create an event, you can dissect what feelings or emotions led you to making those decisions.
Now that I’ve accepted that, I can think through ways I could’ve better served my personality and my needs.
Focus on What You Can Control
If you’ve accepted that you made a mistake, then you’re ready to take full control of your actions next time around. You can write a list of things you did wrong and what you can do differently next time. Many things are out of our control, but by focusing on what you can control, you’ll be sure to see better results moving forward.
Use an affirmation for when you’re beating yourself up
The mind is a tricky place to get trapped in. After a rough moment, it’s easy to get caught up in a negative loop where you think of every terrible outcome that could happen as a result of your mistake.
Imagine you sent an email or text message you regret. You’ll think about the recipient’s response, their next possible actions and how that could impact your relationship over the next year.
In these moments you can stop yourself from having anxiety about the future by bringing your mind back to the present with an affirmation or favorite quote.
Related Content: If You Want to be Happy, Try Journaling
Reflect on Your Wins
No amount of reminders can negate the fact that the mistake happened and you feel bad for it. However, I’m willing to bet there were several times where you did something right and you have proof of that.
Spend some time looking back at old emails, social media posts or cards from people that love and adore you. Throughout all of your mistakes there are times where you’ve done amazing things, helped people and made a positive impact on the world around you. Use those moments to get you through the tough times.
Actions You Can Take RIGHT NOW:
If you’re experiencing that uneasy feeling that you’re royally screwed up, take these simple steps to gain a bit of inner peace right now:
Find (or create) an affirmation that you can repeat when negative thoughts arise.
Find three positive examples of times that negate the mistake you’ve made.
Write down three things you can do differently in the future.
You control your inner peace. It’s impossible to have inner peace all the time because, quite honestly, life freakin’ happens. Sometimes you will make a mistake that shakes your mindset. Sometimes your life will change in a definitive way that makes you question your abilities. Sometimes you’ll experience something that you replay in your mind over and over.
You can always come back from those moments - and you can do it faster than you think.
Comment below with one of your favorite ways to bring back your inner peace!
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About the author
Cyrene is a fun and accomplished workshop facilitator, learning and development guru and Human Resources professional. Being at the helm of Thrive Lounge has been a long-time dream. Through vision board workshops she plans to accomplish two-way learning. Sharing her vast years of knowledge to motivate and encourage others; while simultaneously getting the reward of great energy, ideas and questions to ponder back from each group. A super win-win. Please join our Thrive Lounge community so you too can benefit!
