Goal Setting

Why You Must Start Living Your Dream

 
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Do you ever wonder what would have happened if you followed your silly childhood dream?

I have.

For decades, I've imagined myself singing on a stage in front of a small crowd in a speakeasy. They'd be nodding their heads to my sultry melody and my words would shift them from a state of urgency to a state of understanding. I'd fill their spirit with the jazzy melodies I grew up listening to as a child.

THAT was my dream.

This year, I swallowed every ounce of you-can’t-do this + its-too-late + you’re-not-good-enough and took the first step.

I promised myself that I would sing on stage at least once.

I didn’t know how it would happen or who’d be crazy enough to put me on a real stage, but I convinced myself that no matter how small or what audience, I would find a way to make it happen. After all, I can’t teach people to create vision boards and go after their dreams if I’m not doing it myself.

That’s when I got the email. Last year, my daughter’s artwork made it into a gallery and we signed up for the email list. That same gallery doubled as a theater - and was holding auditions.

When I received the email I thought “I gotta do this. What’s the worst that can happen, right?”

I auditioned for a musical - and got one of 5  roles. (I played a ballet-dancing novice Nun in a silly musical called Nunsense.)

I could finally consider myself a real singer.

As a singer, I started my new life:

  • Practicing 3-4 times a week with the cast

  • Learning to dance ballet and tap

  • Memorize dance moves, harmony and words to 10 different songs in my free time

All to perform well for 5 shows. Then after those 5 shows, the magic was over.

 
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People clapped, we bowed and then my life went back to normal.

To accomplish this goal, I gave up my free time. I pushed myself physically harder than I ever had. I gave up time with my daughter that I'd never (ever) get back. I traded the morning and evening time I used to work on my blog for learning ballet via YouTube.

Woah.

Even though I lived my dream of singing on a stage (and had awesome pictures to show for it), I didn't feel like the spotlight was worth everything I lost.

That feeling is the number one reason you must start living  your dreams today.


I Liked The Outcome, Not The Work It Takes To Get There

It wasn't until I actually started rehearsing for my first real show that I truly understood what it took to do the work.

You might be dreaming of yourself holding a best-selling novel, standing on stage in front of millions or amassing millions of followers on your award-winning YouTube channel. The end goal sounds AMAZING, but the work lacks the same glamour and recognition.

The work requires you give things up.
The work challenges your persistence.
The work makes you second guess your abilities.

If you don’t start living your goal, you’ll never know if you’ll love the day-to-day the same way you love the end result.


I Loved It As A Hobby

I needed to take a step back. My body ached, my feet begged for relief and my daily productivity suffered due to lack of sleep.

All after just one set of performances. I couldn’t imagine getting back up to do this again. I loved the experience. In fact, I wouldn't mind doing this again… once a year - max.



Singing Is Not A Priority For Me

The more I had to leave my daughter at home each week, it started to eat at me. I was too busy during the week to spend time with her and too tired from rehearsals on the weekends to do anything with her beyond watch Netflix.

Surprisingly, I missed blogging. I couldn’t impact millions of lives all over the world with my little musical. I couldn’t encourage the women at rock bottom. I could barely find the time to support myself with the little pockets of time I had.

I realized the cost of singing was too high of a price to pay. My ability to impact others with my story is more important to me than I had ever realized.



I Wasn't Missing Out On Anything

Since college, I blamed my parents for pushing me to become a doctor and not nurturing my natural ability as a singer. They knew that it was a passion for me and instead, they wanted stability for me, they wanted me to do the college thing (which led me nowhere) and get a more stable career.

So I did.

I went to school, I looked for jobs, I started my career - all with the idea that I'd never do what I REALLY wanted to do. I'd never become a singer. Because of them, because of my daughter, because of society at large, I'd never accomplish my goal.

I thought about it as a thing far in the distance, that because I didn't have the courage, time or money, I'd never reach.

After singing on a stage, I realized that it was fun, it was satisfying, but it didn't change my life. It didn't make me any more or less of who I am. The heavens didn't open up and reveal a new life that I'd been missing out on.

I'm still Exactly. The. Same.

I needed to accomplish this goal in order to see that I could. I needed to see what it felt like practicing and rehearsing for one amazing show to know what it feels like in my body. I had to study harmony and ballet to know that my life was already filled with all the music I desired.

I needed to try my goal to stop wondering…… what if?

Maybe you do, too. Maybe it will be super amazing and you’ll start living a life that you never thought possible. Or Maybe you’ll be happy with your accomplishment but will decide to move on to the next thing. Either way, it’s better to have the answer than to always wonder. What have you been wanting to do that you’re holding back on? Time to find out the #truth.


Ready To Accomplish Your Greatest Goals?

  1. Start planning out your largest goals with the FREE Goal Planning Worksheet.

  2. Take a FREE personal development class on CreativeLive.

  3. Do you struggle with finishing the goals you start? Get clarity on your goals and the strategies to reach them with the ebook Goal Doing: Practical Advice For Goal Setting, Action Planning and Achieving Your Dreams.

Ready To Make Your Dream Goal A Reality?

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Chantl.jpg

About Chantl

Chantl founded Thrive Lounge to give women the kick in the pants they need (lovingly, of course) to uncomplicate their goals, stop making excuses, get productive and start living the life they always wanted. Her book, Goal Doing: Practical Advice For Goal Setting, Action Planning and Achieving Your Dreams, gives women a step-by-step guide to create, plan and achieve their grandest goals.



How to Ask Family for Money to Reach Your Goals

 
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When I was trying to go back to school to get my Master's, I was in a rough place.

I was working 3 jobs and waking up at 3AM to study for the GRE. I had no idea when I was actually going to take the GRE….. because I couldn't afford it. I was exhausted, but still determined.

I just kept studying.

A close friend of mine asked me when I'd be taking the GRE because I had been studying for over two months. I responded ‘I have no idea, whenever I get the money’. Immediately, she pulled out her iPad and her credit card and said "Pick your date. I'll pay for it." #wow

After I took the exam and applied to school with a free voucher, I received an acceptance letter that said that in order to hold my spot, I'd need to come up with $1,000 in two weeks. #stressing

Needless to say….. I didn't have a dollar to my name.

I decided to call up friends and family and asked them for $50, $100 or whatever they could spare. I promised that I would pay them back as soon as I graduated and got a job.

Guess what? Within 48 hours, I had $1,000 to go back to school!

Related Content: How to Guarantee Grad School is Worth Your Time & Money

I graduated with a job making more than triple what I was making before. And now I was only working one job instead of three. #happydance I called Every. Single. Person. on my list so that I could pay them back...

... and every single one of them refused to take my money. #blessed

I graduated. I'm now living my dream. That was more than enough for them.

Asking people for money, can be scary and shameful, especially when you’ve always been able to take care of yourself. But here is what I did to make it a little easier:

I called my friends and family and personally asked them.

I drove to them to pick up the money.

I had already did 90% of the work.

I ONLY asked for what I needed to get to the next step.


I am more than happy to pay it forward where it makes sense and when it's truly genuine. If a close friend asks for a small contribution…… I'll be the first to whip out my card.

The people who did it for me, made the difference between me going into debt and eating the free leftover sandwiches from my receptionist job for dinner and me now being able to live my best life.

I'm more than happy to do the same for others.

Don’t be afraid to make the ask, and don’t forget to pay it forward.


Ready To Accomplish Your Greatest Goals?

  1. Start planning out your largest goals with the FREE Goal Planning Worksheet.

  2. Take a FREE personal development class on CreativeLive.

  3. Do you struggle with finishing the goals you start? Get clarity on your goals and the strategies to reach them with the ebook Goal Doing: Practical Advice For Goal Setting, Action Planning and Achieving Your Dreams.


This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclosure for more info.


Chantl.jpg

ABOUT CHANTL

Chantl founded Thrive Lounge to give women the kick in the pants they need (lovingly, of course) to uncomplicate their goals, stop making excuses, get productive and start living the life they always wanted. Her book, Goal Doing: Practical Advice For Goal Setting, Action Planning and Achieving Your Dreams, gives women a step-by-step guide to create, plan and achieve their grandest goals.

How to Win at Peer to Peer Mentoring

 
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Peer to peer mentoring can be a very rewarding experience that often leads to lifelong friendships and bonds. Great mentors have the ability to build relationships with people, ask uncomfortable questions and share their insecurities. They help people reach their goals in many different areas of life. Not-so-great mentors struggle to create an emotional bond with their mentee and their relationships can fizzle out pretty quick.

These tips will make sure you're a great mentor.

REACH OUT TO THEM PERIODICALLY

My goal was to use my experiences to help others move forward in their life, reach their goals and then reach for even bigger goals. It’s very easy to get bogged down with all the little things in life like work, school, errands, personal care, health, family, friends, vacation, religious obligations, and the list goes on.

It may seem like you don’t have time to be a mentor.

As an adult, one of my greatest learnings was to take time out for other people. Show them that you care about them by picking up the phone giving them a call. Ask them how their day was and take an interest in what's going on in their lives. Do the same for your mentee. Reaching out to them shows them that you are genuinely interested in their life and their success.

It opens the door of communication and invites them in.

Invite them out for lunch or coffee or happy hour. This gives the two of you time to connect personally and get to know each other a bit outside of a business or an educational setting. Simply picking up the phone to give your mentee a call or shooting them an email out of the blue will put a smile on their face and keep you connected as time goes on.

MAKE NOTE OF THEIR SPECIAL DAYS

Don't take the time that you have with your mentee for granted. Instead, when your mentee tells you that they're going to MIT for the summer internship (like my awesome mentee did #goalgetter) make a note of the date. When the time comes around, send them tips relevant to their new journey.

If they are starting a new job, make a note of the date so you can send them "new job" tips or share a story from your first day at work. Send them a congratulations or a ‘you got this’ text.

Make it your job to know when their birthday is and how old they'll be. If you're 30 and your mentee is 25, you can share stories with them from your mid-twenties. You can share the lessons you wish you knew at 25. You can help them better prepare for the new challenges ahead of them, whether it's business or personal.

KNOW WHAT THEIR GOALS ARE

As a mentor, you are utterly useless if you can't help your mentee move up in their life. If you make a conscious effort to understand your mentee's goals, you are in a much better position to help them actually achieve them. Encourage them. Keep them accountable. Check in on their progress. (side bonus: you’ll be more motivated to crush your own goals while you help other crush theirs).

Related Content: How to Set the Right Goals in All Areas of Your Life

Help them network in order to reach their goals. If they are in a different field as you, you can help them expand their network and learn new skills by introducing them to your network. If you are in the same field, you will be able to help them potentially land internships and jobs through your own connections.

USE THE GIFT OF FORESIGHT (OR AT LEAST TRY TO)

If your mentee is in school, make a note of when the mid-term and final exams are at their school. This way you will be able to send them inspirational confidence-boosting emails right before they start taking their tests. If your mentee is in an internship or job, help them prepare for evaluations, mid-year reviews or negotiations. Try to account for every stumbling block your mentee could encounter on their journey and make it your job to help them through it, using your experiences as a guide.

In order to be successful at using foresight, you need to really….listen. Sometimes we have so much experience to share, we forget to be good listeners. You won’t be able to know what they really need if you don’t listen to what their saying.

SHARE YOUR FAILURES WITH THEM

Though many people don't want to admit it, we have all failed at something at some time in our lives. On the bright side, those failures usually teach us life’s greatest lessons and allow us to grow incredibly for the better. We are given the gift of our struggles because once we get through them, we now have a roadmap that we can provide to other people in order to help them rise out of their biggest problems in life.

The greatest gift you can give your mentee is to share these stories. The most painful stories of your life have likely taught you more than all of the times you triumphed with minimal effort. These are the lessons that hold great value for your mentee. These are the stories that will propel them forward when they reach hard times.

GET A GOOD MENTOR

A great way to learn to BE a good mentor, is to HAVE a good mentor to learn from. Seek out someone you admire and ask if they’d be willing to mentor you. Ask someone who is 1 or 2 jobs above you to teach you their ways.

Being a mentor is one of the most rewarding ways to spend your time. Share your knowledge with others. It doesn't help anyone if you keep all that wonderful experience to yourself. :-) Your story is meant to be shared.


 Ready To Accomplish Your Greatest Goals?

  1. Start planning out your largest goals with the FREE Goal Planning Worksheet.

  2. Take a FREE personal development class on CreativeLive.

  3. Do you struggle with finishing the goals you start? Get clarity on your goals and the strategies to reach them with the ebook Goal Doing: Practical Advice For Goal Setting, Action Planning and Achieving Your Dreams.


This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclosure for more info.


Chantl.jpg

ABOUT CHANTL

Chantl founded Thrive Lounge to give women the kick in the pants that they need (lovingly, of course) to uncomplicate their goals, stop making excuses, get productive and start living the life they always wanted. Her book, Goal Doing: Practical Advice For Goal Setting, Action Planning and Achieving Your Dreams, gives women a step-by-step guide to create, plan and achieve their grandest goals.